Review Your Face Off: Horrorpops - "Kiss Kiss Kill Kill"

This review started out as cheerful work banter via email. But as suggested by the Hellion, I have relocated it here for you all to see.

Summary of the new Horrorpops for your reading pleasure:

Song 1 – Thelma And Louise: You hear the title of the track said maybe about 5,000 times.

Funny Point Of Song: Just painful to hear the words ‘Thelma and Louise’ about 8 million times.

Song 2 – Missfit: Sounds like a 15 year old girl wrote it screaming about how she’s a ‘Missfit’ by someone else’s standards cause she wants to dye her hair and she’s from the wrong side of town.

Funny point of song: A breakdown of the music to ‘Our House’ but replace lyrics with “my fist, in the middle of your face.”

Song 3 – Boot To Boot: Just boring

Funny Point Of Song: None, just boring

Song 4 – Disco: Not that bad but not really that good either.

Funny Point Of Song: 80’s toms being used and her singing “I don’t know why anyone would want to dress up like an 80’s whore” after she goes on to sing in second song about tired of people oppressing her and not understanding her.

Song 5 – Kiss Kiss Kill Kill: This title track sounds like they were trying to make it epic for their sound. It’s not that bad again but I think we’ve found two more words she likes more than Thelma and Louise.

Funny Point Of Song: Wasn’t paying too much attention to the songs at this point, actually reading an article summary on how bear’s guard Roberto Garza met the Mexican president or some jazz.

Song 6 – Everythings Everything: Another love song in their arsenal of horror rock love songs.

Funny Point Of Song: At several points in the song it sounds like a track from an 80’s movie like 16 candles, breakfast club, etc. Funny after taking the time to make fun of 80’s music in “disco”

Song 7 – Hitchcock Starlet: Kudos for the title and thunder & lightning in intro (we can assume there’s lightning, although all audio, because thunder and the ol’ boltz go hand in hand). Here is where I notice that they really have an indescript sound except for at a couple key points where they strum a chord and you go oh there’s what they’re going for.

Funny Point Of Song: ‘She’s Like A Curry. I Want To Tell Her How Hot She Is, But She’ll Think I’m Being Sexist. She’s So Hot She’s Making Me Sexist. Bitch.’ Flight Of The Conchords is better.

Song 8 – Highway: I’ve given up 6 songs ago at finding a decent song on this album. So I turn my attention to something else after the first 15 seconds of a song. I’ve got nothing.

Funny Point Of Song: Thelma and Louise have gained a new partner, Lucille. Cool…

Song 9 – Horrorbeach Part 2: Is an instrumental surf rock-esque jam that I spent more time thinking about sea creatures during. It would be easy to write something about being glad about not hearing part 1 but it’s not even worth it.

Funny Point Of Song: I noticed on a previous funny point of song I wrote Poiny instead of Point. What? I don’t have much left I’m being bored by this album and the song. I’ve started this now I feel I must finish. Feel has the word eel in it. They’re in the deep cavernous areas of the water.

Song 10 – Refugee: I wonder if she consulted Wyclef (spell check yields Wycliffe which is much better) Jean on the lyrics of this one? No, I don’t think Wyclef has an interest in Copenhagen nor their refugees.

Funny Point Of Song: Writing Poiny instead of Point again. Also, hearing the words ‘Copenhagen Refugee’ and it being earnest attempt at being patriotic.

Song 11 – My Picture: Was on the covers of some magazines so now I will decide to suck it up. That’s what she was thinking. She’s also thinking ‘why did I get involved with a guy who likes to fuck dead chicks? I’m alive and sexually frustrated cause of my decision.”

Funny Point Of Song: Thinking about huffing on the dust off that’s sitting next to my CPU and hoping the song passes by the time the buzz ends. It’s funny how when I don’t like a song of theirs it’s really grating to me.

Song 12 – Private Hall Of Shame: Thank goodness it’s the last one and I don’t have to really do anything at work right now.

Funny Point Of Song: I skipped through it and 4 of the 5 spots I stopped at were ‘la la lada da’. Also noticed that section of my amazing review of this album was originally intended to be a positive section for the album but turned out to just be more goof juice* on their faces.

And just so you all know, the this album is available via Amazon for 2 terds, a kite, and some ants on a log (celery, peanut butter, and raisins). But my advice to you is flush the waste, fly the kite while enjoying a fun lunch time snack possibly reminiscent of your childhood.

*Thanks to Bernat, Kenny for the use of the words ‘goof juice’ together to form a funny way to say ejaculate.