Featured Live Show: Small Brown Bike / Bridge and Tunnel

Small Brown Bike / Image taken from last.fm

12.04.2009 - Beat Kitchen - Chicago

I’m sure many of you have heard that Small Brown Bike recently got back together and are actually playing shows and working on new material. In fact, you all should know because we posted this news on the Belly a little while back. Well, I managed to get myself some tickets to one of the two shows they played here in Chicago, and while my plan was to get turbo-drunk and rock out to some hella tunes with my friends, let’s just say things fell a bit short.

Let me begin by pointing out that I could only get tickets to the earlier show of the two. Of course this ended up being the all ages show, and I think as we get older we understand that all ages shows can really start to suck. All the usual pop-punker teens were there, probably only showing up because they heard one SBB album from their older brother or something along those lines. Fact: These kids are little shits. Look, I know there was a time when we were all younger going to punk shows too, but at least back then most of the underage crowd actually hated MTV and bands signed to major labels. We had somewhat of a handle on what we were talking about because we still used mail-order to get records and read zines. The fucks that show up now have no clue that punk and hardcore are actually not supposed to be mass-marketed and that eyeliner doesn’t make you look cool; it makes you look like a dumbass. I just wanted to make this disclaimer ahead of time in all fairness to the bands since it’s hard to enjoy yourself at a show when the kids in front of you are making the same jokes over and over that are about as funny as those found on South Park (which aren’t funny, by the way).

Alright, now let’s move back to the bands. I’m not even going to go into a lot of detail about the first band. I was in the bar while they played, and honestly, my friends and I all decided those jokers were doing everything in their power to sound like a Gin Blossoms cover band. So instead of heading into what seemed like an XRT sponsored concert in the 90’s, I drank beer. Since the beer was more interesting than the band, I’ll give you some deets on that. This beer was of the Pabst variety and came in a 16 oz. can of deliciousness. It was cold and crisp, and it managed to be the perfect vessel for routing alcohol into my ever-waiting body. If this beer was a band, it would be like mashing Hot Water Music, Leftover Crack, and Dillinger Four into a group that put out music that was completely unintelligible but awesome, and which also had the power to make you pee way more than normal.


Pabst / Taken from my camera

When Gin Blossoms: The Second Coming got off the stage, we packed up and headed in to listen to Bridge and Tunnel, a band that I particularly like and have seen play before. As expected, they put on an excellent show, and I found myself yelling along with every song. If you want to get down to some excellent post-hardcore jams, you must check this group out. If you don’t want to get down to some excellent post-hardcore jams, then you’re probably waiting online to purchase Soulfly tickets right now, and I feel sorry for you. I would say half of the people at this show wanted to do the former, but that still wasn’t enough to really get the place going, which is very unfortunate.


Bridge and Tunnel / Taken from B&T's Myspace

When it came time for Small Brown Bike to play, I figured things would surely pick up. People began to surge forward to get at the stage before the set started, so I had a good feeling. Straight out of the gates, SBB came through would a few of their most energetic and well-loved songs. Everyone old enough to recognize the sweet sounds being relayed from the band’s equipment went nuts. SBB had the crowd in their hands, but unfortunately decided to drop them all on their heads, presumably so we were all too unconscious to try and figure out what happened next.

The Bike played the slowest shit ever following this amazing beginning. It was like they sat down and picked out which songs would bore everyone to sleep. I don’t know if they wanted to force us to finally listen to all the songs we usually skipped on their albums, but the feeling was sucked out of the room leaving us all wondering, just like Superdrag, where the hell it went. Here and there the band would inject a few familiar numbers to wake everyone up, but then it was right back to naptime. In all honesty, I was completely disappointed when their set was over.


Small Brown Bike / Taken from Smallman Records

So I would say the high points of the night were me imagining Pabst as a super-group (Slash’s Snakepit, anyone? No? Okay.), and Bridge and Tunnel’s fantastic set. It seemed like Small Brown Bike still needed some warming up, and I would be interested to see how their second show went.

Featured Live Show: The Chariot / Horse the Band / Arsonists Get All the Girls

Tonight, there shall be distortion... And it was good.

The night in question was last night at Gramercy Theater (Blender Theater, if ya nasty)... Beards aplenty filed into the Manhattan club to boogie down with chaos engineers The Chariot, along with Arsonists Get All the Girls, Horse the Band... (and *sigh* Norma Jean)... After waiting in line outside the venue in the fucking freezing cold, stupidly wearing just fingerless gloves as my only winter accessory, I took a seat in the Old Man Section in the back of the club to rest my frail, aging bones and to get a bird's eye view of the audience in attendance. One thing I instantly noticed was the noticeably noticeable harsh divide of the crowd: either late-twenties-ish bearded and flannel-clad gentlemen or 14 year old scenester co-eds in neon-splashed graphic tees, graphic hoodies, and skinny jeans, with noses buried in their cellphones, no doubt twattering nonstop about how the show is going to be the most epically massive "evar"... I wept silently within... but not in a goth way... in a man way.

Anywho, it didn't take long into the show to see who these children were here for... judging by their attention to the Arsonists set that opened the night, they were definitely Horse/Norma fans. Don't get me wrong, I'm not here to shat on the headliner of the night or their direct support (I just honestly think someone shoulda stuck with their original vicious blueprint while someone else needs to start expanding on their schtick... respectively). In other words, these two will not be discussed here. Only the two I traversed midtown to go see...


(Arsonists)

As mentioned before, AGATG kicked off the night... and they did so with fuckin fire. This is only the second opportunity I have been able to catch these cats, and it has been a long time coming. The first time being at the New England Metal and Hardcore Festival two or three years ago when they were only a mere "I've heard a few decent things bout these guys, maybe I'll give them a passing listen for a song or two" blip on my radar. And ever since have grown into an act that always seems to find its way into my listening rotation, thoroughly pummeling my ear canal in some of the most wonderful ways possible... See the track "Shat Shart Tart" if you need an example... Anywho, their set paraphrased: ridiculously awesomely abrasive. My only slightly negative comment would be that they seemed cramped as hell up there with six members and what looked to be all the bands' gear for the rest of the night. But regardless, they still delivered the wallop, though I noticed they seem to be drifting in a more accessibly brutal direction, I hope which continues to be a positive thing rather than detracting.


(The Chariot)

And then it was time for the main event... Well, the main event in my personal opinion... And boy howdy, did they ever fucking bring the ruckus. Fucking A right, The Chariot NEVER cease to amaze me live. It just seriously never gets old. They fucking wail, and they're a cavalcade of cacophony, hellbent on obliterating every notion of a nice, calm rock show... Instruments thrown, abrasive lighting, alienating feedback, dizzying ragdoll antics by the members, and general disregard for any kind of structure or even fuckin safety, are all par for the course with the ones they call the Chariot... If you can't tell, I'm kind of a fanboy for these guys. They're like my little underdogs. Momma's special little guys... It was somewhere between the jarring mash of feedback and samples and the whipping around of a workshop hook lamp that I realized I wasn't going to do this set or any set of theirs any justice through verbally trying to describe it. You just have to do yourself a favor, tuck in your balls, and go see these delightfully damaging little scamps when they blow through your town... And do like I did, make sure you venture out of the Old Man Seats for these guys, cuz it's just a tiny bit better when a guitar neck narrowly misses clipping your ear. It always is.

And to send you packing with a smile, a splendidly beautiful representation of why The Chariot is one of the most INFUCKINCREDIBLE live bands ever... Go see for your damn self, ass:

The Chariot - Unofficial video for "Teach" (sick live montage):

Featured Live Show: Apocalypse Hoboken at Ronny's

8.20.2009 - Ronny's - Chicago

If you’ve been following this site, you know that I love Apocalypse Hoboken. I’ve been into these dudes since I was in high school, and I don’t plan on getting tired of them anytime soon. So when I heard there was to be a “secret” show at a shitty venue like Ronny’s, I was super stoked. By “secret,” I mean they were added to a bill as “Plus Guest.” Everyone pretty much figured it out right away, especially because Todd posted it all over Spacebook. I figured this would make for a pretty large turnout, but surprisingly not as many people showed up as one would think. I suppose they are waiting for the upcoming shows instead. Why anyone would miss out on an opportunity to see the band play in a setting like Ronny’s is beyond me, but whatever.



Let me tell you a bit about Ronny’s, in case you’ve never been. This place is essentially a dive bar with a garage attached to it. The shows take place in the garage. They seem to have put some drywall up to deaden the noise, so now it feels more like being in someone’s basement. Plus, the sound is super shitty. So basically, seeing a band here is the same as seeing one at your friend’s house party. I like that. It reminds me of all the basement shows I’ve seen or played at. I hate places like the Metro or Congress Theater (both in Chicago). I want the band on my level without bouncers or anything like that. I want them to be able to give and take abuse. I want to pay only $7.

While other bands did play before Hoboken, I’m not going to comment on them because I didn’t really pay attention. I know everyone’s thinking that people who only show up for one band and ignore the rest are assholes. I usually don’t do that. But this night I did, so get over it. I’m getting older, and being close to the bar is important.



Of course AH’s set was fantastic. They played a decent amount of songs off of Now’s Not a Good Time, which is my favorite album. In general, they seemed to play a lot of stuff they don’t usually perform at shows. That works for me. Way to mix it up, guys. The same energy I expect from any Apocalypse show was present, and fortunately Todd kept all his clothes on this time around. I’m not sure how tight they sounded, but that’s because everything was all jumbled together. That isn’t their fault; it was just the room they were in. But really, it didn’t matter how well they sounded. The point is that it was an awesomely fun time, fueled by beer and music that makes my ass dance. Thank you, Apocalypse. I like it when my ass dances.



*Sorry about the shitty pictures. We walked to Ronny’s from my apartment, and it looked like it was going to start pouring at any second so I brought my crappy camera instead of my good one. Deal with it.

Featured Live Show: Converge / The Red Chord

4.05.2008 - Reggie's Rock Club - Chicago

Alrighty. To begin, I need to say that the lineup for this show was fucking incredible. Here's the order of gnardeath appearances:

1. Hewhocorrupts
2. Genghis Tron
3. Baroness
4. The Red Chord
5. Converge


So let's do a little play-by-play so all you readers can get a feel for the destruction. As you already saw from the lineup chart I so generously provided, Hewhocorrupts took the stage first. And of course they were fucking awesome. Pounding through their sharkbite set of grind, these fuckers ended up in their underwear by the end of the set. Unfortunately, I missed the opening songs because I was bit late. You know how it goes; gotta get some of the drinky-poos in before you head out to the venue. Side note: I was wasted by the end of this show. Anyway, these guys tore it up from what I did see.


Next up was Genghis Tron. I love these guys. If anyone remembers, I did a "Found You, Asshole" on them awhile back. Made up of three members (a guitarist, a singer, and a guy that handles all the electronics), GT puts on a pretty interesting show. With a backdrop of these creepy, tall light things that flashed along with the music, the trio brought some killer cybergrind for the crowd. They obviously played a lot off of their new album, so a lot of their set was a little slower than the non-stop blastbeats I was looking forward to. But don't fret! They were still incredible. And, they were amazingly tight. I wouldn't have been surprised if they sounded a bit sloppy because of their goofy setup, but they weren't at all. Nice job, fellas.


After GT came the sweetness that is Baroness. With the booze kicking it and the sounds of sludge/psych-metal blaring, I was pretty much in greatest place ever at this point. I want to make note that our new writer GnarHammer was rocking out harder than fuck to these guys, so you know they have to be good. Baroness actually got a chance to play for a pretty decent amount of time. Unfortunately, as is the case with most shows these days, the crowd seemed a little too young to appreciate the complexity of this quartet, so it didn't really get too jumpin' during their set. Most of these little fuckers were just standing around waiting for their moms to pick them up. This was beginning to irritate Psycho Killa, GnarHammer, and myself, and all this would come to a head as The Red Chord took the stage.


I've seen The Red Chord a few times before, and they are always fucking amazing. This was no exception. How can you not get down with their crazy-yet-still-brutal technicality? It's impossible to try and fight it, or so I thought. Remember the kids waiting for mom? Nobody moved. Literally. Nobody. While the band tried to egg the crowd on, these jackholes just stood there in defiant silence. This is when a few of your favorite Bellions went into action. While I am not one who usually thinks hardcore dancing is all that cool, something needed to be done. So we broke that out to the horror of these 15 year old bastards. As complete confusion overtook most of the crowd (Are these kids actually dancing? Mommy!), some people finally figured out that it was okay to break it down to a band that you like. I lost my hat though during this, and that is the only sad part. Oh yeah, and Psycho Killa and GnarHammer BOTH fucked up their ankles pretty bad. That sucked, too. I made it out with just cuts and bruises, but that is because I am super-human.


Converge. What can be said? They are the godfathers of hardcore. They constantly reinvent themselves and push the boundaries of extreme music. Their shows are always top shelf. As expected, they exploded once on stage and put on a pretty good show. I do have to say, however, that I think they get a little sloppier each time I see them. Maybe I am just losing my excitement, since I have seen them about 5,000 times by now. I don't know. They were great, but it was nowhere near the intensity of the first time I saw them. Or the second. Or the third, etc. Maybe it was the venue. I know the crowd had a lot to do with it, as well, but still, I felt a little let down. There was no Jake grabbing peoples' heads and screaming in their faces. In fact, there was really no crowd interaction at all. I don't even know what to think about it. I think I am just going to blame this on the crowd, but I don't know how much I am just forcing myself to think that since I love them so much. I think I just need them to play in the alley behind my apartment before I make a full-on decision.

So all in all, the show was pretty damn good. My entire party of ragers got a little wounded, and the music was great. Plus there was booze, and booze is our lifeblood. I just wish that the crowds at these shows didn't suck so bad all the fucking time. I literally think I am becoming "that guy" that sits around and thinks about how things used to be "back in the old days."

Featured Live Show: Paint It Black (In-Store Performance)

3.01.2008 - Generation Records - NYC

If you recall an earlier post about the sick deal Generation Records had going on (the one where buying Paint It Black's fierce new album from the shop gets your name on the list for an exclusive in-store performance by the band...) then this won't be shocking news to you... and frankly, is easier on me so I don't need to bring you all back up to speed again! Regardless, this Featured Live Show is about that exact appearance by the P.I.B. dudes in the basement of Generation.

Also, tossing me another line, I did some snoopin' on the interwebs and tracked down some footage of the show. So this way, you can see exactly how it was, without me having to give you some snarky, cuss-laden rehash of how it went down. But I will go ahead and say that this show was definitely crucial to me for a specific reason: I finally figured out that I'm old. And I don't mean in the way like "oh, that show was so much fun, it'd made me feel like I was 15 again, cramped into a small room, climbing on top of and slamming into everyone around me, screaming along to the lyrics as loud as I possibly could, forgetting about anything else happening outside of the walls sweatily confining us in with the band" ... Sure that is all true, but I meant in a different way as well.

There was one quick moment when everything became clear to me... and it was when some red-faced teenager with a blond surfer-shag hairdo motioned "you goin' up?" (as in respects to crowd-surfing) to me, and I hesitated for a second, then waved him off. However, instantly after this exchange, I was subjected to an inner dilemma of sorts... because I realized the only reason I didn't boost myself up on everyone's backs, was because I was worried about losing the contents of my pockets(!) ... Don't get me wrong, stage-diving and crowd-surfing were among my favorite activities as a kid at shows, but this was the first time ever for my "sorry, I'm worried my phone, ipod, keys, and/or wallet may disconnect themselves from my person" moment... And I was ashamed... Not only was I ashamed, but I found myself at a crossroads. In front of me, a foot away, was a vicious pack of mosh-drunk kids going nuts for every powerchord, and behind me, ten feet back, sprinkled among the standers, were a couple gray-hairs and sensible older-punk types tapping their toes and bobbing their heads. And then it occurred to me... is the time just around the corner where i'll be stepping ten feet back and rubbing shoulders with a different group of show-goers?

Ah, fuck it... Who am I kidding? ... We here at the Belly never slow down... We fuckin' rage... And that's just the way it is... I probably just had a gas bubble or some heartburn... Cuz it's just like Dr. Yemin says, "We are invincible. We may bend, but we will not be broken."

Paint It Black - Live @ Generation Records NYC (three songs)

Featured Live Show: Dillinger Escape Plan / A Life Once Lost (Revisited)

A bit back we threw up a post on the Dillinger Escape Plan / A Life Once Lost show in NYC. Which, if you didn't make it out to it, was nothing short of fucking brilliant. However, there was a little special addition to the punch of this monumental occasion... Your friendly neighborhood Spleen Latifa worked like a busy little bee for the month or so following the show to give you greedy Bellions something to righteously blow your minds on.

What is the fancy gift you ask? Well, early December, right before the show, the Spleen hooked up with the kind gentlemen at Metal Injection and helped them film the glorious show to make it a nice tri-camera affair, and then took all the tapes home from the live sets and edited them up all sexy-like. So below you will find two samples of these clips, and a link to where you can shoot over and see all the live vids we posted up (of DEP, ALOL, Genghis Tron, and Shat) plus two rad interviews with Greg from Dillinger and the nice boys of the Tron. So without further chatterboxing, have at these clips and follow the link to watch the rest!

Find all the clips here on Metal Injection's video player

Dillinger Escape Plan - "Sunshine the Werewolf" (live)


A Life Once Lost - "Pain and Panic" (live)

Featured Live Show: Hot Water Music

2.01.2008 - Metro (Chicago, IL)

As some of you may remember, I did a "Get the Fuck Back Together, Idiots" on Hot Water Music a little while back. Well, they listened. Backing up the release of Till the Wheels Fall Off, a collection of rarities, songs from splits, etc, HWM went on tour. I also mentioned this on the site when I first caught wind of it. Turns out I kinda really think Hot Water rocks the fuck out of the world.

So I obviously went to this reunion show, and it was, of course, fucking amazing. Hot Water are one of the greatest bands to see live. Each show is chock-full of raw energy and crazy fist-pumping. On top of that, every time I see them they get a little better. This time around they played as tight as can be, even though there was a good amount of liquor in them. Surprising, isn't it? Chris was looking pretty wasted by the end of the show, actually. Chuck was drinking whiskey and Guinness. He's probably the coolest guy alive at this point. Not because he drinks whiskey, but because he just knows how to bring the rock like no other. Anyway, they played hella great. The crowd was going nuts for everything, but songs from Caution and Never Ender were the biggest, which is pretty much to be expected. When they unleashed "Alachua" during the encore, the place exploded. Beer was flying everywhere and I somehow ended up on my back. I think some homeboy tried to grab onto me on his way down for support but just dragged me with him. It's cool though, that's the price to pay for being front and center. I do have to say, however, that there was a high turnout of fuckwads at this show, which always sucks. We got tickets to the show that was NOT all ages for obvious reasons (they are playing another tonight in the Chi that is all ages), but that doesn't mean you don't have immature cuntrags showing up. The one I attended was 18 and over, so we still got stuck with some high school-esque fuckers that were trying to emulate what they saw on MTV in the pit. At one point I literally had to grab some kid by the neck and tell him if he hit me in the head again I was going to beat the shit out of him. That seemed to remedy the problem.

I heard in the pisser that Small Brown Bike was supposed to open but canceled. I don't know how true that is. That would have been a double reunion show of two fantastic bands, but whatever. The bands that did play with HWM were pretty uneventful, and I spent the time during their sets downing liquid courage, so I am not going to bother mentioning who they were or how they played.

I just hope Hot Water takes all the shouting of "Get back together!" to heart and decides to do just that. I miss those guys. They even managed to tug at the heartstrings by mentioning how much they loved playing the Fireside Bowl. Damn.

Here's about 20 seconds of them playing last night:


Here they are playing live somewhere before they broke up (watch Chris rock out pretty hard in the background):

Featured Live Show: Dillinger Escape Plan / A Life Once Lost / Genghis Tron / Shat

12.16.07 - Blender Theater (Gramercy) - NYC

If you live in New York City or the surrounding areas (or even in fuckin' Maine for all I care), and you missed this show, you seriously deserve to have your eyelids peeled off with a toenail clipper... Cuz you stupidly missed the most incredible/ intense/ intertaining/ insane/ inbelievable (and any other in words out there, real or made up by my damn self) show of this forgettable year of two thousand and seven.

Dudeski, you missed Shat's dildo armor, grown men dressed as babies wearing shitty diapers, and some of the filthiest songs known to the human race... You missed Genghis's dueling electro-wizardry and warlockery... You missed ALOL's overuse of a rad fog machine, their brutal riff-core-stoner-nastiness, and Bob's as usual vicious vocal delivery and stage persona... But most importantly, you missed the almighty DEP. You missed the diving into the crowd, you missed the chaotic swinging of necks of guitars, you missed the fireballs, you missed a duet with original singer, Dimitri, you missed the flying mic stands, and cabinet climbing, and guitar smashing, and the mic getting thrown into the crowd for an audience lead-in, and a duet with Bob from ALOL resulting in a double crowd swan dive by the two singers... In other words, you missed perfection... You missed the reason we're all here... You missed the answer.

And I'm not kidding in the slightest... even though my tone may scream that I'm kidding... just believe me when I say I'm not kidding... cuz if I was kidding I'd tell you... if I was kidding... no... kidding... But regardless, I will go toe to toe with any numbskull on this damn planet who wants to knock irons with me that Dillinger Escape Plan isn't the greatest live band ever... and I mean EVER, like how I totally meant "not kidding" a sentence ago. Yeah, that much... They are THE greatest live band since the dawn of time, the beginning of the world, and the first snap-crackle-pop of the Big Bang... and please, if you wanna argue, do something... cuz i will cut you, trick.

So in other words, this monster is coming to basically all six sides of everywhere, so do yourself, your adrenaline, your heart rate, and your miserably meaningless little life a favor and pick up a ticket to your local DEP show today... That's my public service announcement for the week.

[Note from the editor... the Spleenster] Oh, and I helped play cameraman for our buddies over at Metal Injection, and we recorded the whole Dillinger set and three songs from each of the openers, as well as a hilarious interview with Greg from DEP on their bus, so when those are all edited up all sexylike, you'll be sure to see them on here as well... Eat it, fatboy.

(Un)featured Live Show: The Misfits 30th Anniverscary Tour

The following was written today by our newest powerviolence guest contributor, Rabble Arouser (răb'əl-erou'za)... And by the looks of things, the broad's got a mouth on her, take a gander and see:

The first time I heard the Misfits I was ten years old. I was babysitting for a couple of drunks when I found the “Beware” LP and put it on. The one song that really stood out to me was “Last Caress.” That was the most vile and offensive shit I had ever heard at that point in my life and I LOVED every goddamned second of it. What I was hearing were Danzig’s melodic vocals reaching to the heavens to say fuck you to Jesus. It was the first song to tap that evil spot inside me. It was a magical experience that any young gal would be lucky to have. Rape? Killing babies? Priceless. I continued for years remembering that tune and singing it aloud in public places every chance I got because, well yeah, I’m just like that, until a friend revealed to me that the song I was singing was actually by the Misfits and that’s when the love affair began.

That was until last Saturday. I surveyed the crowd, eyes selectively glazing over the “Punk’s Not Dead” t-shirts purchased at the Hot Topic and the faux hawks mass produced at Great Clips and I began to wonder; what does being a punk even mean anymore? Well, if you're talking about the crowd at the recent Misfits show than your answer is being twelve, having a big allowance and spending it all on a black tee shirt with the logo of a band that sold out a long time ago.

So up come the SHITfits, oops I meant to say MISfits (…no, I didn’t). Now if the image that enters your mind is of an old man’s knees quivering while his violently exploding diarrhea blasts out of his asshole-- that was intentional. The curtains (yes curtains! You can get gigs at fancy venues when you sell out) were drawn to reveal a set filled with the predicted ghosts and ghouls you would expect from the band and no, I don’t mean the shadowy figures of a punk tradition long since laid to rest. I’m talking like your run of the mill Halloween aisle at Walgreen’s Pharmacy. Sad, yet exactly what I would expect to see at their “Anniverscary” tour. I spent the first half of their set trying my best not to get pissed about the fact that pussy boy Jerry Only has been ruining their name since he took over and made everything about the Misfits Disney-pop-fantastic. Which translates to me having to associate with children, on a night which should have been filled with loads of unholy fun.

They blazed through their set like a bad cover band with Only’s shitty vocals scraping the feeling out of all the original songs. The best part of the show, and please note my sarcasm, was between songs when Only decided to give the crowd his idea of a motivational speech. It was hilarious! Like when he was thanking his family and fans for their support by saying “Sometimes you just gotta get behind someone and push.” That made me smile because I was envisioning pushing his crusty ass off the stage. He kept up with these pathetic inspirational speeches throughout the night, telling us how much he loves his kids and shit, which don’t get me wrong I think is great for a Hallmark card. I found it particularly ironic when they played “Attitude” since clearly, Only’s Misfits have about as much attitude as my grandmother, after her stroke. Jerry Only is a pussy riding on his retarded signature “devilock,” which looks like the “Flock of Seagulls” bitch ran outta fucking hairspray and Danzig’s success.



I could probably have gotten over a fair amount of the cheese, (living in Wisconsin has given me a better tolerance for such things) but when Only changed the words to purify my favorite childhood tune the shit hit the fan. “I KISSED your baby today????” I shit you not, that’s what he said. Ok, so now he’s a politician? A baby kisser? I wanted to puke. So I waited, hoping I misheard him, but no, I was correct. Not only does Jerry Only “kiss your baby” in the newly revised Last Caress but he “tapped your mother.” Uh, excuse me ma’am, but may I please sneak a peak between your legs? I sincerely doubt that this guy has balls at all. I know Jerry, I know, you don’t want to offend your audience of middle schoolers, but please don’t cheapen the experience for the true fans.

Sorry to disappoint fiends, but you should just put your money and your horror punk-induced erections back into you pants. Unless of course you're a pedophile whose idea of a good time is to party with a bunch of twelve years olds, save yourself the trip.

Best quote of the night:
“yeah man, the Misfits fucking rocked....30 years ago!”

Featured Live Show: Clutch / The Fall of Troy

**Pre-show Post**
11.29.07 - Alright, you kids of the cloven hoof... Tonight holds another body-rockin' set to add onto your concert to-do list... The massive and mighty Clutch are gracing the Big Crapple with their magical presence! Tonight, at Roseland Ballroom, your friendly neighborhood elephant riders are gonna hit the stage running, and the audience of hundreds will spontaneously grow beards whether they like it or not. Prepare yourself for a festivus of facial hair, and check your shame at the door! So seriously, come on down and let's do some pelvic grooves while escaping from this prison planet. But on a serious note, sadly, Clutch is not the headliner tonight... The drummer-stealing Coheed and Cambria are holding court, which means it will be yet another show where I leave after an opener... sigh... But maybe Bonseaw will handle the covering of that part of the night, since I will most likely be inhaling dead flies and cigarette butts, passed-out face-down on the tile bathroom floor, in a ripped GG Allin tshirt, in some dive by the time they finish their set... Why, you ask? Cuz obviously Clutch demands that I rage... Since I have the body of John Wilkes Booth... Now get to bookin'.

Clutch - "Burning Beard"

Featured Live Show: Norma Jean (and a Bunch of Crapola)

**Pre-show Post**

Alright, Bellions... Another NYC show goin down tonight that will get our usual live show lip service. BUT unlike the rest of the shows we've reviewed, where there was usually a pretty good bill going on, this one has ONE good band on it... as in UNO... and the rest of the show is a complete pile. BUT this one band (to little ol' me) is worth the ticket price alone.

I'm talking about the mighty Norma Jean... whose live show is like a hammer-smack to the jaw... and I like that kind of shit... but not in a sexual way or anything. I was actually quite looking forward to this show tonight, even with the atrocious bill, since I missed them last time they bopped through the area with The Chariot and A Life Once Lost cuz i was outta town. But this time, they're sandwiched in a deathgrip of completely expendable wastes of time... and I'm referring to the trifecta of trite: Saosin, alexisonfire, and Envy on the Pieceofgarbage (or something). Basically, this show is going to be like when you were a kid, and you swallowed that sick Cracker Jack decoder ring, and then the doctor told your mom that she had to sift through your crapzer for the next week or so to make sure you passed it, cuz if you didn't it could give you cancer or lay decoder ring eggs or something, and then when it finally did pass through, your mom tossed it in the garbage, but you secretly dug it back out again and cleaned the fuck out of it with bleach and rubbing alcohol, because you missed your shitty plastic code-breaking friend.... ok, maybe its not exactly like that, but the metaphor is in there somewhere... I'm gonna be sifting through a load of crap to find my special little decoder ring.

So expect a show review shorter than most... since I obviously will be throat-punching my liver with beverages during three of the "bands" tonight... but there is a slight chance it could rear its head and turn into a vicious rant onto those three Debbie Downers as well... but you'll just have to tune back in later to find out... Same Belly time, same Belly channel.

Indulge, jokesters... Norma Jean - "Bayonetwork: Vultures in Vivid Color"

Featured Live Show: Between the Buried and Me, HORSE the band on Halloween

Halloween is one of my favorite fake holidays: It's an excuse to eat shitloads of tooth-rotting sweets and dress up as bloodthirsty serial killers, zombies and assassinated presidents. But last week, I forwent my annual costumed partying and gluttonous candy-eating by attending a concert at the Blender Theatre at Gramercy. And with good reason: Between the Buried and Me were playing a headlining show with support from Horse the band, Animosity and Giant.















First up were Giant. The Raleigh, North Carolina quartet recently replaced The End after their guitarist abruptly quit the band. But Giant's squalls of melody, bass grooves, atmospheric guitars and occasional throaty shouts didn't go over well with the Blender crowd -- people began spewing the typically unimaginative insults ("You suuuuuuuuuuuuck!") during most of the quieter instrumental parts. (Clearly no one else was a fan of Isis, Pelican or Cult of Luna.)






















Next were Animosity. I had first heard of them a few weeks ago when I received their new album Animal, which was produced by Converge's Kurt Ballou (the disc caught my attention among my pile of CDs because it had a neon album cover that featured a vomiting bear), and I was really psyched to see them live. When they came onstage, each member wore a mask of a giant photo of their own heads. "We're Animosity, Bobblehead Edition 2008," said singer Leo Miller, whose "bobblehead" bore green sunglasses and an open mouth. They immediately launched into "Toothgrinder" from the new album; they also played "Bomb Over Rome," "A Passionate Journey" and "Plunder Incorporated" from Animal as well as older tunes. Animosity's fast metal guitars, pummeling blastbeats and strangled screams induced non-stop mosh pits and left the crowd wanting more -- when their set ended, the "one more song" chant turned into "one more set."















To prepare for HORSE the band's performance, roadies began putting out fake trees, a giant inflatable turkey and a funeral horse and carriage on the stage. Then the drummer flitted into the spotlight in a short dress and fairy wings; the guitarist came on in a belly-baring genie outfit, the bassist was dressed as a witch and the keyboardist wore a yellow evening gown. When the singer walked out in a mermaid outfit (complete with a red-haired wig and seashells covering his hairy man boobs), it became apparent that Htb were dressed as female Disney characters (that's Tinkerbell, Jasmine, Maleficent, Belle and Ariel for the Disney deprived).






















"We're HORSE the band from another land," said frontman (er, frontwoman) Nathan Winneke in a high-pitched voice, setting off the band's raucous set of frantic tunes laced with lung-burning howls, breakneck guitar runs and manic 8-bit video game-inspired synthesizers worthy of the greatest NES games. Htb played both new and old tracks (from R. Borlax to The Mechanical Hand to their latest, A Natural Death) including crowd-pleaser "New York City" (natch). The little mermaid was wigless and topless ("Let's see that at Disney on Ice, you motherfuckers!") by the time they got to their closing song "Cutsman," which had the audience going apeshit over the "Nintendocore" classic. Even if Htb isn't your cup of tea, you can't say that they don't put on an entertaining show.






















Finally, the headliner: Between the Buried and Me. The last time I saw BTBAM in NYC was October 31, 2004 at the Knitting Factory, when they were touring in support of Alaska and opening for Converge. This time around, the five-piece came onstage dressed in matching overalls and straw hats with no shoes ("I think it was a bad idea to play barefoot," frontman Tommy Rogers later said). From there, they played their new album Colors in its entirety. From the opening piano ballad of "Foam Born (a) The Backtrack" to the 14-minute opus "White Walls," it was immersive, beautiful, heavy, melodic, progressive. When the set ended they left the stage for a mere two minutes only to returns and play "Selkies: The Endless Obsession," everyone's favorite jazzy, synthesizer-laden track from Alaska. Costumes aside, this was one of the best all-around shows I'd been to in a long time, and you should kick yourself for missing it.

[All photos by Jesse Angelo.]

Featured Live Show: A Life Once Lost

**Pre-show Post**

10.29.07 - This is a gnar-show red alert to everyone in the Big Apple area looking to get their face torn off tonight... come on down and rage with me at Lit Lounge to catch one of the sickest live acts around today. Like we said in an earlier post, the Dillinger tour that was supposed to drop a steamer of powerviolence on this city last night, was postponed til December. But the dudes in A Life Once Lost (who were one of the supporting bands on that tour) have the itch and are hitting it like a wrecking ball anyway. And this all works out for everyone, since it was a last minute show announcement (meaning... shits only 6 bucks, and in a tiny venue... totally rad-iocity). The openers of the night are Bloody Panda and Casket Architects, so it should be an interesting night regardless. Or we could all just get wrecked and put our thrash faces on........ GET RIPPED!



For the unannointed... A Life Once Lost - "Rehashed" (live)

Featured Live Show: Every Time I Die / Poison the Well

10.24.07 - Nokia Theater, NYC - Underoath/Every Time I Die/Poison the Well/Maylene and the Sons of Disaster -- Shits was tight tight tight... and then some. And that ain't even the half of it...

So! I guess I'll just give the play-by-play and walk you through a gnarfully memorable show (minus the headliner). Wait, maybe I should just get that out of the way first... I did not stay for Underoath. I sooooo didn't stay for Underoath... In your head, you might be asking me "Hey bruiser, why'd ya skadoot? Those fellas bring that supa-sweet-kinda-tryin'-to-be-loud-and-angry-when-really-they're-just-tricking-you-into-listening-before-they-vomit-hooks-and-harmonies-that-are-so-straight-up-emolicious-it-would-make-My-Chem-and-the-new-From-Autumn-to-Ashes-shudder. Not to mention they really attract an awesome fanbase of little boys who shouldn't be wearing painted-on pants and skin-tight graphic hoodies. Oh, and what about those supa-fly overweight broads in Chiodos tshirts who looked like they've watched the Nightmare Before Christmas a little too much. Those babes be babes!" ... No, you're right fella. And that's exactly why I skadooted.

Now that we got that out in the open, onto the important shit! Maylene and her boys of Disaster opened up the night, and damn it if they didnt rage straight out the gates. I felt like I was watching an old fashioned barn-burning getdown in Birmingham, Alabama! There were human pyramids, one-handed shredding, nonstop long-haired headbanging, chunky guitarists in jean shorts, basically, every kinda fun imaginable.... radly approved. I think I peed a little every time they yelled "New York City" in a southern accent in between songs, like in those old salsa commercials.

Then PTW... What the hell do I even need to say... These assholes can still tear a crowd's face off just like back in the Opposite of December days. It's pretty uncanny. These road dogs haven't lost a step at all, and dare I say, they might even be more ferocious than past times our paths have crossed. Sure, there were two unfamiliar faces up on stage with them, but these new kids sure did their homework and skillfully tore through cuts from all of PTW's catalog. There's nothing like a full-crowd yell-along to "Nerdy"... thanks guys.

And then the center-stage main event (the headliner, in my damn opinion)... The Shitty Dudes. The Buffalo Big Dirty. Every Time I Die... Always the true showmen, the set went off without a hitch. Opening it with the lead track off their new record and ending with the closing track from the same, it took shitty-dude twists and gnar-dirty turns through their whole catalog (minus Burial Plot Bidding War, and waaaay hardly any Last Night in Town, sadly). But fuckin a, it was incredible nonetheless. Best moment of the show... brace yourself...



Who's that fella flanking Keith on his left?? ... It's our champion face-runner and one-man wrecking crew, Greg Puciato from Dillinger Escape Plan! (I didn't even think to ask him if he was planning on going to the ETID show when I went to the Ire Works album preview with the Dillinger guys two nights prior)... Before the shitty dudes kicked into "Kill the Music", Keith started saying that people were in the the house that if it weren't for them, ETID wouldn't have existed. And then when the first lick hit, Greg came barging out of stage left to share the vocals (and throw himself into the crowd, surprise surprise)... It was a fuckin horrorshow, in the most positive sense of the word... increda-rad-able... duh, girl.

So all in all, for an old man like me, who stood off to the side with all the fat girls (cuz this dum dum old man accidently wore flip flops to work and he didn't want his toesies stepped on, or his highway-robbery priced beer spilled on him) ... it was the show I've been waiting five fucking months for. Cuz this summer was a fuckin bummertown and a half for shows... Eat it, fatboy.

** Pre-show Post**
10.24.07 - Once again, I'm breaking form for writing on this show... just cuz I'm so damn jazzed for it. It's also once again to alert everyone of its existence, in case you wanted to bop on down to the Nokia Theater and check it out. I will be there front and center, from the first note of Maylene and the Sons of Disaster, through PTW's vicious set, to the always face-ripping amazingness that is ETID... but I probably wont pay attention during Underoath, that's smoke break and merch table time... Dallas Taylor is in a better band now anyway... he'll have my attention earlier in the night with the Sons. Anywho! Come on down and rage it up with us... and if you don't, then be looking forward to a dynamo review on it tomorrow... But these should keep you company until then:

Every Time I Die - "The Logic of Crocodiles"


Poison The Well - "12/23/93" (Live in Montreal)

Featured Live Show: Against Me! / Mastodon

5.17.07 - I'm breaking form and posting this before the show just to clue anyone in if they're in the area and wanna check it out... It's going to be one incredible night, filling out the bill (in order) with These Arms Are Snakes, Cursive, Against Me!, and Mastodon. So get down on that jazz if you don't already have yourself a ticket... and if you don't, you're a dumbshit. Don't worry, I'll give the full-column treatment to this post-show!

While your waiting, enjoy two delightful videos by the headliners...

Against Me! - "Don't Lose Touch"


Mastodon - "Blood and Thunder"

Featured Live Show: The Red Chord / Job For a Cowboy / Psyopus

4.29.07 - The headliners were Cannibal Corpse and Behemoth, but this isn't why I skipped on down to this show on a Sunday night... it was because of the ridiculously powerviolence triple-opener listed above.

I made it there to see the last half of Psyopus' set (thanks to shitty time listing by Ticketmaster), but was more than treated to the calculated, spastic assault I was hoping for... If you haven't already caught these guys live, seriously do yourself a favor and figure out a way to now. Everybody loves a sonic assault, fully fused with beserk energy!

Job For a Cowboy was next, and right from the get-go busted in the heads of the entire audience. Familiar with their EP work, I was stoked (enough to use the word 'stoked' right now) for them to take the stage. The only thing I felt kind of let down about was that most of their set seemed to be new material... And it seemed like a good portion of the audience had somehow gotten their hands on tracks from their upcoming album, because they were already yelling along with them. But regardless of that (which actually wasn't a problem, since the new tracks are fuckin sick), their set was incredible.

Then it was time for my own personal main event... The fuckin Red Chord... Right out the gate, the guys of the Chord tore my face off. Their set was half from "Fused Together in Revolving Doors," half from "Clients," with one new track thrown in, and the pummeling never stopped til the final breakdown. I thought they fuckin killed, but it seemed like some of the crowd wasn't digging on their sense of humor in between songs (i think it takes a higher intelligence - like mine - to appreciate "Who loves sandwiches? .. Who loves ravioli??" yelled in a cookie-monster vocal at the crowd). Guy and company are one of the most incredible live shows around, and I can't say enough about the whole package of this band... from the albums, to the videos, to the shirts, to the vibe, to the tracks, etc... They're rewriting how this scene should run. Thank them.

Oh, yeah, and then Behemoth went on, they are silly... i can't believe people were into the goofy corpse paint, and their foreign accents which completely demolished any 'heavy badassness' they were trying to convey.... Ugh, get a real job. And I have nothing bad to say about Cannibal Corpse, I respect their longevity... but it's like AC/DC, the secret is don't change anything about the formula... But I'm just kinda over it.

The Red Chord - "Fixation On Plastics"

Featured Live Show: Maylene and the Sons of Disaster / Twelve Gauge Valentine

4.20.07 - (paraphrased) They both killed. Alesana blows. Didn't even stay for From Autumn to Ashes.

I'll write a real review later.

You can check out a sample of Maylene's live show here.

And Twelve Gauge's here.