Dude, Let's Make a Video, This Song Rips: Knights of the Abyss - "Dragon Pie"

Knights of the Abyss are pretty fucking bearfight, so who wouldn't want to rock out to them with a friend or two? Well, it's cool to rock out at shows and stuff, but when rocking out at home, one should never record it, let alone put the fucker up on YouTube. It just blows our minds here at the Belly when we see people like this trying to be cool and act all bad-ass. Sure, sometimes you might argue that the people doing it are trying to be funny, but then they should do just that: be funny. These two chode-smokers are just plain dumb, and I have no idea what they were thinking.

First off, who the fuck has a Spiderman costume that actually fits? That drummer guy is a total fart-knocker for owning (and don't forget wearing) that thing. I bet you broseph is like 28 years old and has never felt a boob besides his own mother's. On top of that, his numbskull friend is trying to look all hard by wearing a Misfits glove and a bandanna with the hood on his sweatshirt up. Whoa, watch out. Here comes Johnny Football Hero trying to act rough. I bet he totally rode his Harley down the flight of stairs from his bedroom into his parents' basement. And look how off these losers are. It looks like this is the first time they've even heard the goddamn song.I seriously have no clue why they posted this shit, because it's obvious they have no friends that are going to check it out.

Enjoy.

Knights of the Abyss - "Dragon Pie" (as covered by Da Basement Bandits)

Dude, Let's Make a Video, This Song Rips: Kreator - "Tormentor"

Alright, so this isn't just the usual "Let's just play a song on the radio and jump around like idiots while lip-syncing like Madonna" video. It's better. While I can't tell if the kid with the guitar is actually playing along (and if he is, nice job, kid), it's very obvious that the d-bagger with the wannabe mohawk is definitely using his real voice, and that's why this video is so fucking funny.

Puberty always hits at the wrong time. For this kid, it couldn't have been worse. Not only is he probably just starting to get interested in girls, but he also thinks he's metal, and I am pretty sure metal and puberty don't mix. In fact, the proof is right here. This fucking dork is trying to scream along to Kreator, but instead his voice is cracking all over the place. Does he even realize it's happening? Was he just rocking so hard in his room while his mom was making dinner and his dad got drunk on the couch watching reruns of "My Name is Earl" that he never noticed his voice sounds worse than the Partridge Family episodes when all their voices started to crack? I don't know, man, but this is so worth the watch. Homeboy's totally thinking he's a badass with those wristbands on his arms and knowing he just saw an episode of "Jackass" for the first time.

There's nothing more to say. Give this a watch.

Dude, Let's Make a Video, This Song Rips: Pig Destroyer - "Thumbsucker"

It's that time of the week again... The time to shine a spotlight on the musical dunces that surround us. The geniuses who think the only way to pay homage to one of their favorite bands and/or songs is by disgracing it and turning it into a mockery on public display... Seriously, this shit never gets old to us here at the Belly.

So anywho, I stumbled across this little ditty while looking for the latest GnarVideo of the Week (more specifically, while searching for the new Pig Destroyer video that I've heard so much about, which may make its own GnarVid debut next week, but I'm not sure yet)... Oh, but the horror, children!! I really cannot wait til you hit the magical play button and bask in all its un-rad glory with me. There is a split second right at the beginning of the video, right after the 'singer' douche says "Is it recording?", that I want to believe the guy holding the cardboard cut-out of a truly righteous guitar (a cut-out that he sadly probably spent a very long time coloring and taping up to give it that extra snazz for this high-quality rockin' production he was about to star in) thought to himself "Dudes, I know this song totally rips, but maybe we shouldnt make this video, I mean, its gonna be on the damn internet, anyone will be able to see how we really are a bunch of failure bombs. Guys? You know what I mean guys? Oh shit, the song's on, it's time to fuckin shred." Well, maybe that thought didn't cross his mind, but there definitely is something endearing about his deer-in-the-headlights look whilst awaiting to rock.... Sidenote, is it just me, or is the dude playing drums on a kit fashioned out of a school desk and weights for lifting reeeally hitting every fill and beat perfectly? Brother in the Napalm shirt seriously needs to find a new group of friends and start a real band asap.

Dude, Let's Make a Video, This Song Rips: Children of Bodom - "Oops! I Did It Again"

I have to say that this is one of my favorite sections on the Belly. Not only does it help out people that obviously want others to see how idiotic they can be, but it's fucking hilarious to boot. And this is an extra special edition, because it's a cover of a cover! Mind blowing!

So Children of Bodom apparently did a remake of Britney Spears' "Oops! I Did It Again." Why? I don't know. It's not even a good remake. But that is beside the point. What we want you to see is that somebody decided this song was so amazing, they wanted to add a little bit of themselves into the mix. Big mistake, especially since the Belly is on the lookout for shit like this.

I can't tell if this is two teenage girls or one teen girl and a Hanson brother. Either way, the lameness scale is through the roof for this duo. Not only does the Hanson brother try to act all hard for the Bodom parts, but the girl tries to act sexy for the Britney parts. Those facts added to the age of these jokers is an obvious equation for disaster. My favorite part is when the music dies and talking starts in another language. The two kind of just look at each other and try to mouth something along with it. Hopefully Thelma and Louise here won't be hired to do any voice-over work, cuz that shit is way off. There is also a short time of confusion when the two are presented with a guitar solo and no words at all. Shit! Just look at the camera! Don't do anything stupid!

Sorry, Mario and Luigi, you already could not look any stupider.

Children of Bodom - "Oops! I Did It Again" (Hanson Version)

Dude, Let's Make a Video, This Song Rips: The Chariot - "The Deaf Policemen"

New weekly column alert, Bellyheads!!

We really could not pass up bringing you this one... It can be seen that we here in the Belly love satisfying your powerviolence video hunger almost more than we love satisfying our own hunger for Chicago-style hot dogs and Guinness. But never mind that, we just love weekly installments of gnarfun to the tenth degree! So, in searching for all the videos we spew forth for you here, we have come across quite the trend running rampant online nowadays. And the only thing we can blame is the bullshit-smoothie made with the blending of the birth of the YouTube generation, the constant need of digital self over-saturation, and the virtually child's play ability of anyone to fancy themselves a sudo-shitty filmmaker... And this trend in question is the homemade music video using someone else's song. Hot album just dropped? Can't wait to break in your new digital camera with video capabilities? Pissed your favorite band hasn't booted out the dough to make a snazzy music video? Think your mediocre talents could do a better job than people who get paid to make 'em? Then you know it's bound to be whispered amongst your idiot friends... "Dude, let's make a video... this song rips!"

So for the spearhead example of our weekly testiment to these bonehead Chris Cunninghams, I selected a delicious little ditty by the boys in The Chariot... played by two black-hooded-sweatshirt-clad numbskulls in someone's parent's backyard... with a cameo by one resilient inflatable punching bag (note: pay close attention to the flying-kick biff at the 00:33 sec mark that almost sidelines our would-be frontman). I dunno if it was his integrity to continue on with this debacle that won me over, or if it was the other hooligan strutting around with his unplugged bass guitar, stiking massive rock poses every chance he could. Either way, give these tykes a hand, they put their heart and soul into this steamer, and apparently they really want the world to see it... or why else would it be open to the public domain? ... Thanks guys.

The Chariot - "The Deaf Policemen" (amatuer redux)