Dispatches from Powerviolence: The Bronx Enter Studio for Two Albums

Sorry this damn juicy (and awesometown) nugget o' news took a little bit to get up here on the Belly, I must be slippin' in my ripe old age... Sidenote, I'm starting to think it may not be attractive to talk about your sore back when you're a month and some change away from 25... but I do it anyway... for the ladies... or for the embarrassing uncomfortableness at cocktail parties... But it's like what my old man always says, you can't have one without the other.... So where were we? Oh, yes, those fun-loving scamps, The Bronx! To bring you up to speed, the nothing-short-of-amazing SoCal group with the NYC namesake played their last show a little under two weeks ago and are now embarking on their much needed hole-up in the studio to work on new jazz. You may be saying to yourself "Hey, Spleen, who the f-bomb gives an s-h-bomb? Make with the funny, review some shit, and then talk more about your back. You're wasting my rest-a-warm-laptop-on-my-genitals-and-watch-reruns-of-Scrubs time!" ... Oh, am I, impatient Belly reader? What you may not have known is that The Bronx is heading into the studio to churn out not just one aural gem, but TWO incredible albums (**the author gives himself full right to deem any yet-to-be-recorded Bronx albums 'incredible' because if you think that they wont be, you're a damn fool)... And not only are they recording two albums (which will both follow suit and be more self-titled records, just like the last two... *hilarious*) one will be the dead punk we've come to know and love from the boys (titled, obviously, The Bronx) and the other will be there own brand of MARIACHI music (aptly titled, El Bronx... *again, hilarious*). So expect sheer, fuckin' radness to the maxxx by the one and only band who was tapped to play Black Flag in that biopic about Darby Crash that's taken like four years to come out, and also expect tons of junk-cuppage like the kind you're being subjected to in their photo up there... Fuckin A.

So come dance with me... on the inside... as we both watch this wonderful example of The Bronx's all-around ruckus and riotous live shows that just feel like it should have "PARTYTIME ROCK'N'ROLL BASTARD" tattooed on the inside of its bottom lip, and it always wants to show everyone when it gets drunk, but when it does and it pulls down said bottom lip, you just see how gross its teeth are from years of cigarettes, black coffee, and whiskey, and that kind of makes you wanna throw up, but throw up in a totally awesome way, cuz you know that this dude's seen some shit, and you can only hope you can see some shit like the shit he's seen when he was in the shit...... shit...... It's just that damn gnar. Deal with it.

The Bronx - "Heart Attack American" (live in Vegas)