Make Another Album, You Jerks: Sex Positions

So what the hell is the deal with Sex Positions anyway? Well, according to Deathwish, a whole bunch of craziness has been going on. Let me sum it up in as few words as possible. Apparently all the original members except one left the band shortly after their first, and only, album was released. So the remaining member, Eric, put together a whole new outfit and went out touring in support of the record. After this, the band went on a European tour as a four-piece, but sans Eric. So now we have a band with no original members playing shows under the name Sex Positions. Then, three of the other original members that had left in the first place decided to pick up two other dudes and set up a show still using the band's name. Sounds pretty fucked up to me, but whatever. I guess those other guys that were not in the first ensemble are shit out of luck. But the good news is, the original singer is in with the other two guys that were there in the first place, so the Sex Positions that will be touring now will have the voice that made Sex Positions Sex Positions.

Under the circumstances, I am glad to report that I do not have to write a "Get Back Together" column, and I can just try to get these musical-chair-loving fools to make another fucking album. The self-titled record was killer, and I think the world is looking to hear some more of the band's crazy hardcore/electronic/piss-fueled rock. Sex Positions managed to make me want to break things and then spit on whatever I had just destroyed. I don't even know why. Probably just because I bet SP would do that. The music is hella gnar and mega fun. It's got a stiff upper lip and hasn't shaved in months. It's clothes are all ratty and covered in vomit consisting of rat poison and pussy juice. If Sex Positions music was an animal, it would be a rabid saber-toothed tiger with three normal legs and a bionic leg that shot lasers out of it. It would not be tamed under any circumstances.

So I ask you, Sex Positions, to bring us more rock. And by the way, if you want to use the image of that tiger on your album, it's cool by me.

Sorry, but I can't find anything but porn when I search for a video of the band. Not to mention that since all this crazy shit went down with them, a website is not really existent. So just look at this other picture and shove it.