Old Timers: Immortal - "Pure Holocaust"

Black metal is fucking awesome. Sure, it might need to be absorbed with a good sense of humor, seeing as it is so over-the-top, but then again, a lot of shit is over-the-top and still amazing. We all know the whole deal with what constitutes black metal: worshiping Satan, church burnings, face paint, goofy black outfits with spikes all over them, skulls on stakes and goat/pig sacrifices at shows, etc, but did you know one of the bands to help get all that started was Immortal? I bet you didn't. To be completely honest, I bet a lot of you don't even know who the fuck Immortal is. This is your wake-up call.

Before bands like Dimmu Borgir brought black metal to a more general audience, there were a ton of other bands lurking around Scandinavian countries laying the groundwork for this music. Bands like the Darkthrone, Emperor, and the murder-loving Mayhem were among the first to create the sound we would consider black metal today. And I know a bunch of you are going to be like, "Hey man, actually bands like Celtic Frost were first-wave, blah blah blah," but I'm talking about the solidified sound, not glorified thrash metal. Got it? Good. Let's move on.

Well, Immortal was one of those bands involved in the second-wave sound; the one we think of today. And they were killer. With Pure Holocaust, they also managed to create a genre-defining album. And let's get something straight: Although many black metal bands did infuse themes of National Socialism into records for shock value, much like the Sex Pistols, this album mostly contains themes about landscapes in Norway and the demise of the human race; it's not a Skrewdriver album. So don't get on my case about Neo-Nazi propaganda.

So what makes this album so great? Well, let me tell you! It's got everything one could possibly love about black metal. It has the progressions and speed, along with the ghoulish vocals. The imagery is dark and bleak, and we all love dark and bleak. Plus, just look at the cover! It has to be good! I remember trying to dress like Immortal in grade school, but my mom wasn't having it. Part of that last statement was a lie, but which part? That I tried to dress like Immortal, or that my mom wouldn't let me? You may never know.

But seriously, listen to this album. If you have never heard real black metal, this is a good place to start. It gives you everything you want. It's sexy in a demonic kind of way. It's also just plain terrific.