Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Featured DVD: Night of the Living Dead

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I really shouldn't even have to write anything about this movie, but in the spirit of Halloween, I felt that it would just be a fun reminder. As many already know, this movie may be the best horror film ever made. Period. It spawned an entirely new way of creating scary movies, and to this day it stands proudly as a masterpiece for your viewing pleasure. Hell, George A. Romero is still making movies based off of this one, and they all go over well with critics. But this is the one that started it all, way back in 1968. That's right, we're talking original here. Don't buy into the remake, even if it did have Romero himself as executive producer. This is the version you want to see. This is the classic.

Shot in black-and-white, the movie tells the story of a group of people hiding inside a house in rural Pennsylvania from reanimated bodies searching for human flesh to sustain themselves. Yikes! That is just spooky! Will they escape? Will they be eaten alive? Not only that, but if a living human gets bitten, he turns into a zombie and gets the cannibalistic hunger himself! Oh, shit! How will it all turn out?! You'll have to watch for yourselves, I'm afraid!

All kidding aside, this movie is awesome. Not only did it make a huge contribution to horror films as we know them today, but it was also a subversive critique of American culture at the time. Scary and political? You just can't go wrong with this one, folks.

Here's an original trailer.

So Sick It Hurts: Calabrese - "The Traveling Vampire Show"

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Happy Halloween, ghoulish minions of BfoH! We here at the Belly hope you all got enough candy to rot out your teeth and enough scares to sleep in your parents' bedroom! In celebration of a most righteous holiday, I have decided to do a review on horror punk dynamos Calabrese and their most recent album The Traveling Vampire Show. Put in your plastic fangs, you little bastards!

To begin, it needs to be made clear that Calabrese are probably the best horror punk band currently in existence. That alone should make you want to check them out, but if you're greedy, like most of you are, and want more reason to dial into their spookiness, keep reading.

Not that it comes as any surprise, but this trio of phantoms (actually all brothers with the last name of, you guessed it, Calabrese) brings blood-curdling lyrics involving werewolves, vampires, and other monsters to their songs. There are plenty of clips from old horror movies as well, and that is always sexy, especially if you know what movies they are from! (Fun fact: Their first album, 13 Hallowe'ens, took most of the clips from the original House on Haunted Hill. Can anyone say, "Vincent Price"? I sure can. The man was a god.) Also true to form, there are plenty of doo-wop sing along choruses and straight-up punk hooks. It's hella! As anyone who listens to horror punk can assume, the sound is close to, but not exactly like, that Misfits band I keep hearing about. They were all like, jamming around 50 years ago or some shit.

Point is, horror punk is fucking rad, and Calabrese is the best in the genre. The songs are fun and catchy like all horror rock should be, and the lyrics are spooktacular. It's just a great album. Make sure to check out 13 Hallowe'ens while you're at it, because that record is another that I wore down from repeated listening. Don't forget to catch them live if you can, too. I saw them and they were rowdy and fantastic. All around good guys, I say.

Check out the video for "Voices of the Dead." It's great. But watch out for zombies!

GnarVideo of the Week: HALLOWEEN EDITION

Happy Day After Devil's Night, numbskulls! ... (I think today is also known in some small parts of the country as "Halloween", or something to that effect) ... but more importantly, it's Wednesday! And you know what that means... another lethal dose of our picks for GnarVideo of the Week -- spooky-style.

All joshin' aside, we have finally made it to the most important day of the year, and the most important holiday ever dreamed up by man (with St. Patty's and Flag Day coming up a close second and third, respectively, in the race). So on this special day of days, we've decided to be generous and give you greedy bastards not one, but THREE GnarVideos on this marvelous Wednesday. First off are two of the greatest (and most cleverly titled) songs about this holiday in question... now get creepy creepy spookfest with yourselves, kids.

Misfits - "Halloween" (live)

Dead Kennedys - "Halloween" (live)

And to keep true to the actual purpose of this column (to alert to you to the radness in new video form, or something) ... BUT still keeping with the theme of Halloween, we have selected one of quite possibly the greatest music videos of all time... maybe soley for the sexy over-abundance of Teen Wolf references... and maybe even more so for all the rad 'staches running rampant throughout it.... either way, the shit jams, and we are jamming with it... in fangs and hairy palms.

Every Time I Die - "We'rewolf"

Monday, October 29, 2007

Featured Live Show: A Life Once Lost

**Pre-show Post**

10.29.07 - This is a gnar-show red alert to everyone in the Big Apple area looking to get their face torn off tonight... come on down and rage with me at Lit Lounge to catch one of the sickest live acts around today. Like we said in an earlier post, the Dillinger tour that was supposed to drop a steamer of powerviolence on this city last night, was postponed til December. But the dudes in A Life Once Lost (who were one of the supporting bands on that tour) have the itch and are hitting it like a wrecking ball anyway. And this all works out for everyone, since it was a last minute show announcement (meaning... shits only 6 bucks, and in a tiny venue... totally rad-iocity). The openers of the night are Bloody Panda and Casket Architects, so it should be an interesting night regardless. Or we could all just get wrecked and put our thrash faces on........ GET RIPPED!

For the unannointed... A Life Once Lost - "Rehashed" (live)

Thursday, October 25, 2007

So Sick It Hurts: War from a Harlots Mouth - "Transmetropolitan"

With their first full-length, War from a Harlots Mouth are out to prove they have what it takes to hang with the big boys. By mixing math-metal, doom metal, hardcore, and death metal together, these whippersnappers have created a truly intense experience. And don't forget about the jazz influences! Is this what it would sound like if Coltrane did PCP? Um... well... fuck, let's just say probably, because Coltrane was all Coltrane about it. I don't even know what the fuck that means. But seriously, this shite is brutal as well as smart. The boys in WFAHM are not just amateur peckerwoods dicking around to the latest Atreyu record. These guys have talent. Actually, they are bursting with it. Bursting like a condom after you haven't had sex for 2 years (or ever; I'm looking at you Wilfred Brimley).

At any rate, War from a Harlots Mouth manage to keep things techy, but without sacrificing destructiveness. Since destructiveness is hella powerviolence, we're totally down with it. The screaming is primo, and the death metal vocals (including pig squeals!) are stellar. There are bits of downtime where the aforementioned jazz influences can be heard, but overall, this album is not in the mood to let anyone settle down for tea and crumpets. Besides, crumpets just taste like stale bread, so nobody wants them anyway. I'm pretty sure even the British don't, but they have no choice but to pretend to like them. I think there is some paperwork that is produced to newborn babies that is signed with their blood promising that crumpets will be kept in the pantry at all times and that they will be pretend-liked by all. I'd rather just go with graham crackers because those are delectable. But I digress...

Point is, this album is tasty like graham crackers, but not as dry. It's more like a S'more (You're killing me, Smalls!), with all its sticky and sloppy pummeling goodness mashed in between two pieces of technical mayhem. This may be the best review ever written.

Here they are bringing the campfire eats with "Riding Dead Horses is a Fucking Curse" live.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Important Moments in Powerviolence: Converge Writes "The Saddest Day"

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In 1997, the band Converge dropped a new album called Petitioning the Empty Sky, and the first track on this record unleashed a ferocity and aggressiveness that would forever change the face of heavy music. This track was entitled "The Saddest Day." To this day, that track is the greatest song by the greatest band in aggressive music. Period. I think that makes it the greatest song in aggressive music... ever. I'll do a logic proof on that and get back to you all later.

"The Saddest Day" still gives me goosebumps when I hear it. With its range from straight-up pummeling to Jake's creepy singing in the slower parts, the song is a work of pure genius. They even still played it at their live shows up until about a year ago, and it always got the floor moving more than anything else in the set. The last two times I saw them they did not play it, so I punched Jake in the face. Just kidding. Not about them not playing "The Saddest Day," but about punching Jake. I love Jake; I would never punch him. Plus he would kick my ass. But I was upset that I didn't get to hear it live again.

At any rate, I thought it was imperative to classify the release of this little number as extremely important, because it was a pretty fresh sound when it was first let out. Plus it's kind of epic, clocking in at over 7 minutes and having very different "movements" throughout. Also, it just plain destroys, and that why it's powerviolence.

I just put up the song because all the videos had shitty audio.

Featured Live Show: Every Time I Die / Poison the Well

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10.24.07 - Nokia Theater, NYC - Underoath/Every Time I Die/Poison the Well/Maylene and the Sons of Disaster -- Shits was tight tight tight... and then some. And that ain't even the half of it...

So! I guess I'll just give the play-by-play and walk you through a gnarfully memorable show (minus the headliner). Wait, maybe I should just get that out of the way first... I did not stay for Underoath. I sooooo didn't stay for Underoath... In your head, you might be asking me "Hey bruiser, why'd ya skadoot? Those fellas bring that supa-sweet-kinda-tryin'-to-be-loud-and-angry-when-really-they're-just-tricking-you-into-listening-before-they-vomit-hooks-and-harmonies-that-are-so-straight-up-emolicious-it-would-make-My-Chem-and-the-new-From-Autumn-to-Ashes-shudder. Not to mention they really attract an awesome fanbase of little boys who shouldn't be wearing painted-on pants and skin-tight graphic hoodies. Oh, and what about those supa-fly overweight broads in Chiodos tshirts who looked like they've watched the Nightmare Before Christmas a little too much. Those babes be babes!" ... No, you're right fella. And that's exactly why I skadooted.

Now that we got that out in the open, onto the important shit! Maylene and her boys of Disaster opened up the night, and damn it if they didnt rage straight out the gates. I felt like I was watching an old fashioned barn-burning getdown in Birmingham, Alabama! There were human pyramids, one-handed shredding, nonstop long-haired headbanging, chunky guitarists in jean shorts, basically, every kinda fun imaginable.... radly approved. I think I peed a little every time they yelled "New York City" in a southern accent in between songs, like in those old salsa commercials.

Then PTW... What the hell do I even need to say... These assholes can still tear a crowd's face off just like back in the Opposite of December days. It's pretty uncanny. These road dogs haven't lost a step at all, and dare I say, they might even be more ferocious than past times our paths have crossed. Sure, there were two unfamiliar faces up on stage with them, but these new kids sure did their homework and skillfully tore through cuts from all of PTW's catalog. There's nothing like a full-crowd yell-along to "Nerdy"... thanks guys.

And then the center-stage main event (the headliner, in my damn opinion)... The Shitty Dudes. The Buffalo Big Dirty. Every Time I Die... Always the true showmen, the set went off without a hitch. Opening it with the lead track off their new record and ending with the closing track from the same, it took shitty-dude twists and gnar-dirty turns through their whole catalog (minus Burial Plot Bidding War, and waaaay hardly any Last Night in Town, sadly). But fuckin a, it was incredible nonetheless. Best moment of the show... brace yourself...

Who's that fella flanking Keith on his left?? ... It's our champion face-runner and one-man wrecking crew, Greg Puciato from Dillinger Escape Plan! (I didn't even think to ask him if he was planning on going to the ETID show when I went to the Ire Works album preview with the Dillinger guys two nights prior)... Before the shitty dudes kicked into "Kill the Music", Keith started saying that people were in the the house that if it weren't for them, ETID wouldn't have existed. And then when the first lick hit, Greg came barging out of stage left to share the vocals (and throw himself into the crowd, surprise surprise)... It was a fuckin horrorshow, in the most positive sense of the word... increda-rad-able... duh, girl.

So all in all, for an old man like me, who stood off to the side with all the fat girls (cuz this dum dum old man accidently wore flip flops to work and he didn't want his toesies stepped on, or his highway-robbery priced beer spilled on him) ... it was the show I've been waiting five fucking months for. Cuz this summer was a fuckin bummertown and a half for shows... Eat it, fatboy.

** Pre-show Post**
10.24.07 - Once again, I'm breaking form for writing on this show... just cuz I'm so damn jazzed for it. It's also once again to alert everyone of its existence, in case you wanted to bop on down to the Nokia Theater and check it out. I will be there front and center, from the first note of Maylene and the Sons of Disaster, through PTW's vicious set, to the always face-ripping amazingness that is ETID... but I probably wont pay attention during Underoath, that's smoke break and merch table time... Dallas Taylor is in a better band now anyway... he'll have my attention earlier in the night with the Sons. Anywho! Come on down and rage it up with us... and if you don't, then be looking forward to a dynamo review on it tomorrow... But these should keep you company until then:

Every Time I Die - "The Logic of Crocodiles"

Poison The Well - "12/23/93" (Live in Montreal)

GnarVideo of the Week: Ed Gein - "Bastard"

New category, true believers! Every Wednesday we'll grease you up with a new video that oozes so much powerviolence that you might need to wear a poncho... so saddle up, cuz it's movie time.

For the inaugural GnarVideo, I picked Ed Gein's vid that I found on Black Market Activities' site... on first watch, I was completely blown away, not only by the vicious song that gives the urge to straight-up pummel, but the whole concept of it. Simple in its attack, but oh so sweet and delicious. Who the hell wouldn't want Gein doing what they do best as an infestation, like cockroaches, in your house. But it looks like the protagonist (for sake of imagery, we'll call him Chubby Chubchub Shitty-Neckbeard) just can't hang, and won't put up with the thrashing-grindy-mess in every room of his house and just bails.... you sir, are a d-bag... But I kid, we know this isn't real life. And I really have to hand it to the people who worked on and made this video... the editing, razor sharp cuts, and the acting on Chubchub's part are simply superb... so all in all, GNAR.

And so I give to you... Ed Gein - "Bastard":

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Dispatches from Powerviolence: Dying Fetus Tour

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Death metal behemoths Dying Fetus are going to be touring during the month of November in an effort to promote their new album War of Attrition. Joining the crafty bastards are Cephalic Carnage (hella!), The Absence, Skeletonwitch and Demiricous.

I've heard some shit from War of Attrition, and it's destructive. Get your hands on it; it's already out. And make sure to catch them if they are in your area. Tour dates can be found at the Relapse website. I can't see them though, since the jerks aren't coming to Chicago. That's just fucked up.

Here's the video for "Homicidal Retribution," which is off the new album.

Old Timers: Judas Priest - "Screaming for Vengeance"

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So I was taking a look at some shit on the internet, and since that is generally pretty boring, I decided to put on some jams. As usual, I had no idea what I wanted to listen to at the time I opened my Winamp, so I just browsed through the insane amount of music I have on my compu...

Alright, I'll just be honest. I just read Sean's update on the site, and was sitting on the crapper thinking about what I would review. A few albums came to mind, and so did a couple DVDs. But then I got a Judas Priest song stuck in my head. Perhaps my toilet symphony reminded me of "Electric Eye"? I don't know, but that's when it hit me: I'll make a section paying homage to old albums that just plain thrashed some shit up.

So here it is. "Old Timers." I have no idea what will classify an album as an old timer, but I guess that will be left up to Sean (or Seene, as I like to say) and I to decide at this point. Some will be from before we were born, some not. The main qualifier is that they had to be, and still are, mega-gnar.

So on with "Screaming for Vengeance." Some may wonder why I picked this album instead of "British Steel" or something. I don't know why. I guess just because I had "Electric Eye" stuck in my head. Even though this album is a little less ripping than some of the older Priest, it's still pretty shredtastic. Plus it's got a cool cover. And it was dropped in '82. (Actually, that makes no difference, but whatever.) As usual, the music is full of killer riffage, and Halford's voice is amazingly unique. All the songs are pretty sexy, except for "Fever," which just pretty much blows. "You Got Another Thing Comin'" and "Electric Eye" are just plain righteous, not to mention the solo in "Devil's Child," which rocks like an Alabama hooker.

You've probably already heard it. You probably already own it. But I think it's about time to dig out Judas Priest's "Screaming for Vengeance" and put on a t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off. Gnar.

So Sick It Hurts: Doomriders - "Black Thunder"

What's not to love about this damn album? If you're not sucked in right off the bat to support Nate from the mighty Converge, you're just a plain dum dum... Or if you don't like albums that make you wanna take your shirt off, flex your wife-beater tan and beer gut, display your bled-out and faded bald eagle tattoo, grab a Daisy Duke type broad in cut-off jean shorts, smash some empty Old Style beer cans on your skull, and toss 'em out the window of your primer gray Camaro, shifting gears with your stainless steel skull shifter, while you patch out onto old Route 66 after sticking up a Mom and Pop roadside convenient with a snubnose pistol you lifted off your buddy named Rickets.... you are a dummy, and a jerk.

That being said, this is Doomriders' first full-length LP on Deathwish Inc. And I have to admit, after hearing their split with Boris, I was anxiously awaiting this record's release. There's just a fuckin' spirit that this record captures that feels like a breath of fresh air. I don't know if its the 80's hardcore punk ethos, or the 8 inch thick slab of sludgefuzz on every track, or the knod to balls-to-the-wall rock and/or roll of days past, or the fist-pumping anthems with hooks so hooky you'll be married to them for weeks, or the album art that screams radness to the tenth power. Whatever it is, this record's got it all... and it fuckin kills in the process. Do yourself a favor and pick up this album, like, yesterday... bring it home, make love to it, comfort it, and caress it... then in the morning, just plain eat it... fuckin ingest it... and hope some of its radly gnar powers of awesomeness rub off onto you through osmosis.

Doomriders - "The Long Walk" (live in Visalia, CA)

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Dispatches from Powerviolence: Dillinger Cancel Tour

I gotta say, this is probably gonna be more of a fuckin rant wrapped in news...

This post was originally intended to be a "Featured Live Show" piece, but has taken a drastic turn south instead. This Saturday, I was going to cover the wonderful lineup of Dillinger Escape Plan, A Life Once Lost, Genghis Tron, and Behold... The Arctopus, who were doing a show at the Blender Theater here in NYC. I had my ticket purchased weeks ago, widdling down my figernails in pure anticipation for the show. This was all going righteously until i bopped on by Dillinger's myspace page because I heard a new track from their upcoming record 'Ire Works' was posted up. Sure the track was there, and it sounds felt-meltingly promising (check out the song 'Lurch' here), but the thing that caught my eye was a blog called "TOURS RESCHEDULED... VIDEOS... OTHER NEWS". Opening it, I find that the ENTIRE damn fuckin barn-burning tour has been rescheduled (and still til the moment of this post, no new dates have been provided) because Ben broke his foot during the filming of a damn video for one of the record's songs! sigh... This better be one nutzo video.

So anywho. For anyone just tuning into the Dillinger sands in the hourglass, the days of their lives... here's a little recent recap. First, you may be confused by the photo above and asking yourself "Who are the two stranger dangers flanking the guys there? ... They aren't band members, what is this business? ... Hey, girl, hey?" Well, in reality, they most definitely are now. Chris, the drummer you probably noticed missing, has been replaced by Gil Sharone (on the far left), due to Chris now drumming for Coheed and Cambria or whatever. And the guy on the far right is Jeff Tuttle, who is now the official second guitarist, taking over for Benoit's duties since his being side-lined with nerve damage in his arm and hand happened in mid-2005 and isn't likely getting better. Their new album, like I said, will be 'dropping' (as the kids say) on November 13th and a release party will be happening the same night in a yet-to-named east coast location. Also be on the lookout for TWO videos that have been apparently filmed already for this record. AND if that isn't enough, join me tomorrow night at Lucky 13 Saloon in Park Slope, Brooklyn, for Greg and Ben's guest dj-ing and previewing of new tracks at the bar.... Quite a handful indeed. I'm gonna go ahead and refrain from slapping some "Dill-igent" pun on you now, consider yourselves lucky.

**UPDATE** Now it looks like some dates are starting to be posted on Dillinger's myspace page, check 'em out.

Ben Gambles and Wins... Just fucking watch it:

Making 'Ire Works' Webisode:

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Featured DVD: Kid Dynamite - Four Years in One Gulp

If you don't think Kid Dynamite's "Shorter, Faster, Louder" is one of the best punk records to be put out after 1986, you deserve to be punched in the neck. They (along with a couple other classic acts like Dillinger 4, 88 Fingers, Lifetime, etc) refreshingly brought back the aesthetic of hardcore + punk + hooks x speed = aggro gritty awesomeness... that you can slamdance and 'whoa-oh-oh' to until you're blue in the face. It was pure, it was raging, it was fun, it was perfect. These cats only put out two full-lengths, a couple splits, and one b-sides/demos disc... but seriously, that's all that was necessary. They didn't turn into some drawn-out joke or punk rock cliche. They carved out their niche, beat you in the face with it as fast as they could, and then parted ways. It's almost romantic in a way...

But as for the DVD documentary, (just like the band's duration) it felt too short, but what was there was fucking amazing. Sure i would of loved more info, live footage, interviews, etc... but the already-packed 90 minute film was honestly powerviolence as is. It is also interesting to note that it was completely put together and directed by Kid D's singer, Jason Shevchuk (who now is the singer/guitarist for None More Black, if you needed help placing the name). But all in all, the most important part of this documentary is what it bleeds: the band's guts, determination, road relentlessness, energy, and fuckin power. It definitely brings me back watching the boys rise to their peak, only to prematurely fall apart... maybe I should just do us all a favor and add them to the "Get the Fuck Back Together, Idiots" category as well.

Here's what I guess you could consider a trailer:

Featured Site: Banksy

Graffiti is an art form that many have looked past. Most people out there associate the pieces, tags, and bombs thrown up by graf artists with gang culture, and that's really too bad. Gang graffiti is that crap you see done with all black that has no artistry to it what-so-ever. I agree, that stuff is wiggity-whack. What I'm talking about here is the graffiti produced by artists that hold true to the culture in which it was originally created. Evey work is a way of saying "fuck the system," and some are even more politically charged than that. Enter Banksy. This English graffiti artist produces amazing political and social commentary through the use of spray paint. Not only that, but he's fucking clever.

Although most of his pieces are done with stencils, which I have never been much of a fan of, the pure genius and message behind them makes for recognition. But the stencils don't make for clumsy bombs that just anyone can do. The detail and artistic look is more than impressive. Multiple layers and color make for beautiful pictures, and the subject matter can be so intense that it really makes you step back.

Besides his outdoor pieces, Banksy creates some interesting drawings and paintings. In a stroke of brilliance, he even started taking well-known paintings and altering them to represent the social state of our world. This can include adding garbage and upturned shopping carts to an old landscape or adding security cameras into a painting of a dirt road. He even put a bullet hole into the head of an ancient Greek bust. Some of these works he managed to sneak into museums and hang up. Among this, he is responsible for many other artistic stunts, all making a point about this shitty world.

So check this shit out. Even if you think you're too hardcore for a culture hip-hop inspired, which just shows your ignorance anyway, you probably aren't to hardcore for 'art terrorism' with a message. Maybe his works will even inspire some of you lazy bastards to get off your ass and make a voice for yourself, whether it be going out and visually forcing people to listen or just throwing bananas at your local Republican.

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Don't Call It a Comeback...

.... call it a Belly Full of Hell.

That's right kids, after a brief hiatus on our part (blah blah blah *problems self-imposed* blah blah blah *problems self-imposed*), we are returning to the fold... and by the fold, i mean the belly of the beast, or the belly full of hell rather. As you probably noticed, the title of this blog changed a bit, adopting the URL as the sole title, and I even went an extra step and changed my pen-name too. It felt necessary to recharge and refresh this thing into the version 2.0 stage it desperately needed.

So pull up a damn seat, chug a couple jugs of Jolt Cola, strap on that colostomy bag, and park it... then commence with the refreshing of this page 'til the end of time, checking back for new posts we keep adding for all you powerviolence-hungry jerks.

Also, in the near future, you'll hopefully be seeing some guest contributers throwing their hat in the powerviolence belly as well... it's an exciting time, children... an exciting time indeed.

Keep it gnar, but wrap it up.
Spleen Latifa

Thursday, October 11, 2007

So Sick It Hurts: Arsonists Get All the Girls - "Hits from the Bow"

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Best name ever? Yes. Best music ever? Quite possibly. I literally shit my pants the first time I heard these guys. Ok, scratch the word "literally," but you know what I am trying to get at. (By the way, if I ever do really shit my pants from an album, you all will be the first to know). These guys are just plain amazing. It's insanely brutal experimental hardcore with a dash of death metal (I won't call it deathcore because some stupid fuck will write me bitching about how it's not actually deathcore even though he still thinks Thursday is screamo and Fall Out Boy is punk). Plus there's keyboards, but not those lame "tryin' to get spooky" keyboards you find in symphonic black metal bands. These are goofy, cheesy keyboards. Amazingly, they fit right into the entire absurdity of this band. I seriously think this is what a band started by Sean, some close friends, and myself would sound like. At most points the music is technical and intense, so you know the gang must take themselves somewhat seriously, yet at other times, it just gets ridiculous. I'm talking over-the-top 80's hair band riffage, Spongebob references, and vocals that couldn't possibly be meant to be taken with more than a grain of salt.

But don't let a little bit of silly fool you, this band is more aggressive than your step-dad after a night of booze and hookers. We all want to relive those nights, don't we? Well, here's your chance. Get down with Arsonists Get All the Girls as soon as humanly possible.

The video sucks. Sorry. Everything I could find was live and sounded like a fart being echoed in a toilet bowl.

So Sick It Hurts: Whitechapel - "The Somatic Defilement"

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Whitechapel, named after the area that Jack the Ripper picked up his victims, is a super-gnar deathcore outfit from Knoxville, Tennessee. With more emphasis on the "death" than the "core," which, in my opinion, is a much better equation than many deathcore bands out there, these filthy bastards will tear the fuck out of you and leave you wanting to be a victim of sonic rape again and again. The vocals are amazing, and that goes for both the highs and the lows. The guitars are straight up pummeling and so is the drum work. There is a perfect mix of circle pit chugging and destructive breakdowns, and we all know that breakdowns get the blood pumping more than a fist full of Viagra and a bottle of Aftershock.

With catchy song names like "Devirgination Studies" and "Prostatic Fluid Asphyxiation," the band makes sure to let you know you're in for a good time. I like good times, and I'm pretty sure you like good times, so why the fuck not get down with these hellions? I can't think of one goddamn reason not to.

Here's the silly fuckers' video for "Prostatic Fluid Asphyxiation." Hella.