GnarVideo of the Week: HeWhoCorrupts - "Master of Profits"

I'm seriously beginning to smell a theme running rampant through this column of ours... and one could assume that this theme in question is probably that of this that probably is of what we assume would and could only be "brutal fucking comedy". Sorry folks. It appears we love to rage just as much as we love to slip into a comfy pair of gigglepants (and spaghetti-writing for comedic effect, apparently). So we admit it, we like to snicker a bit and maybe let loose a healthy guffaw while relishing in the violence and aggression of the shitshow that is our tastes.

So regardless, we present yet another exercise in the delicious comedy/brutality cocktail we do so much enjoy. This week's installment comes from the Homeland ("Chicago" for the uninitiated) by way of the sinister, evil, nudity and piccolo snare-friendly, money-hungry corporation parading themselves as a chaotic hardcore group called HeWhoCorrupts. As audience members, we get to take a front row seat to quite possibly the most amazing 9-5 cubicle world ever recorded on video... If only my workday could be so entertaining... I don't want to give anything away, for it needs to be seen to be believed, but I shall leave you with the drabbest (yet most poignant) summary of what your about to watch... from one of the corporations own PR agents: "Under pressure from CEO Tommy Camaro, the boys from Hewhocorrupts take to the office and discover an ingenious way of making money." Enjoy... Cuz I've got two words for you, and they aren't Happy Birthday.

Review Your Face Off: Rumpelstiltskin Grinder - "Living for Death, Destroying the Rest"

The name of this band sucks. I mean, it seriously sucks. It's probably one of the lamest names I have ever heard. It would be one thing if you could tell the name was a joke, like Cannabis Corpse for example, but I don't think that's the case for these guys. I think they just have a shitty name.

Fortunately, even though the band name may be completely stupid, the music is pretty good. There aren't a lot of bands coming out with straight-up thrash albums anymore, but RSG thinks that shouldn't be the case. Because of this, they drop Living for Death, Destroying the Rest on us, and I thank them for it.

While this isn't the greatest record I have ever heard, it kept me thoroughly interested from beginning to end. It's got the sweet speed of thrash, but also manages to keep some melody. And of course the riffage is gnarlier than being in middle school and seeing your best friend's older sister having a naked pillow fight with her hot buddies. Those were the days...

I would say this album could actually bring some interest back to a genre of metal that is usually only looked upon for nostalgia. While your mind will always immediately flash to the Big Four when thrash is mentioned, I think RSG manages to update the style with a bit more technicality and ingenuity than a Megadeth album. Check it out!

Here's some ridiculous video I found by someone who thought it would be a good idea to put RSG's "Darkness Never Ending" over Braveheart clips. Whatever.

Old Timers: Immortal - "Pure Holocaust"

Black metal is fucking awesome. Sure, it might need to be absorbed with a good sense of humor, seeing as it is so over-the-top, but then again, a lot of shit is over-the-top and still amazing. We all know the whole deal with what constitutes black metal: worshiping Satan, church burnings, face paint, goofy black outfits with spikes all over them, skulls on stakes and goat/pig sacrifices at shows, etc, but did you know one of the bands to help get all that started was Immortal? I bet you didn't. To be completely honest, I bet a lot of you don't even know who the fuck Immortal is. This is your wake-up call.

Before bands like Dimmu Borgir brought black metal to a more general audience, there were a ton of other bands lurking around Scandinavian countries laying the groundwork for this music. Bands like the Darkthrone, Emperor, and the murder-loving Mayhem were among the first to create the sound we would consider black metal today. And I know a bunch of you are going to be like, "Hey man, actually bands like Celtic Frost were first-wave, blah blah blah," but I'm talking about the solidified sound, not glorified thrash metal. Got it? Good. Let's move on.

Well, Immortal was one of those bands involved in the second-wave sound; the one we think of today. And they were killer. With Pure Holocaust, they also managed to create a genre-defining album. And let's get something straight: Although many black metal bands did infuse themes of National Socialism into records for shock value, much like the Sex Pistols, this album mostly contains themes about landscapes in Norway and the demise of the human race; it's not a Skrewdriver album. So don't get on my case about Neo-Nazi propaganda.

So what makes this album so great? Well, let me tell you! It's got everything one could possibly love about black metal. It has the progressions and speed, along with the ghoulish vocals. The imagery is dark and bleak, and we all love dark and bleak. Plus, just look at the cover! It has to be good! I remember trying to dress like Immortal in grade school, but my mom wasn't having it. Part of that last statement was a lie, but which part? That I tried to dress like Immortal, or that my mom wouldn't let me? You may never know.

But seriously, listen to this album. If you have never heard real black metal, this is a good place to start. It gives you everything you want. It's sexy in a demonic kind of way. It's also just plain terrific.

Heavy Rotation: Fellas of the Belly (Feb. 6)

What up, fools? That's all I got. To the Rotation!

The Hellion:
01. GZA/Genius - "Liquid Swords"
02. All Shall Perish - "The Price of Existence"
03. Nas - "Illmatic"
04. Tim Hecker - "Harmony in Ultraviolet"
05. The Assistant - "In the Year of the Dawg"
06. The Clash - "London Calling"
07. Flowers from the Man Who Shot Your Cousin - "Hapless"
08. Mogwai - "Mr. Beast"
09. Beastie Boys - "Paul's Boutique"
10. Unleashed - "Hammer Battalion"

Spleen Latifa (FAIL.)
01. Graf Orlock - "Destination Time: Tomorrow"
02. I Farm - "So My Kids Won't Have To"
03. Choking Victim - "Squatta's Paradise"
04. This Bike Is a Pipe Bomb - "Three Way Tie for a Fifth"
05. Combatwoundedveteran - "I Know A Girl Who Develops Crime Scene Photos"
06. Pink Razors - "Waiting to Wash Up"
07. Ghostlimb - "Ghostlimb"
08. Slayer - "Undisputed Attitude"
09. Sebadoh - "Harmacy"
10. Assfactor 4 - "Sports LP"

Heavy Rotation: Fellas of the Belly (Jan. 30)

Alrighty fuckrazors, we gave you a week off of the Rotation that is Heavy so you could really let that best of '08 post sink in as deep as possible... or we just forgot to do it... either way, eat it.

Regardless, some things have changed in the world since our last communiqué in this column... Obama-mania (Obamania? Obamapalooza?) swept over us for about 2.36 seconds, then we were back to being over it. Even more over it than we were before he even took the oath. Don't get us wrong, we voted for the man, but we're entirely back to being "meh" and over it... And that's why we've obviously decided to move our focus to 2012! Who really gives a shit about the next four years anyway? It's just gonna be politics as usual... So anyway, we here at the Belly fully endorse and put our wholehearted trust in the elusive Kroll currently tossing his hat in the ring for our prestigious 45th president. So please join us in our fight and support the right man for the job... visit his splendiferous site here: Vote Kroll!

And on to what you're really here for...

Spleen Latifa (curled up with some old faves this week):
01. Curlupanddie - "Unfortunately We're Not Robots"
02. Jawbreaker - "Dear You"
03. Minor Threat - "Complete Discography"
04. Pig Destroyer - "Prowler in the Yard"
05. Botch - "An Anthology of Dead Ends"
06. Jon Cougar Concentration Camp - "Jon Cougar Concentration Camp"
07. The Queers - "Love Songs for the Retarded"
08. Deadguy - "Fixation on a Coworker"
09. Jerry's Kids - "Is This My World"
10. Dillinger Escape Plan - "Under The Running Board - Reissue & Bonus"

The Hellion:
01. This Day Forward- "The Transient Effects of Light on Water"
02. Carpathian Forest- "Defending the Throne of Evil"
03. 1349- "Hellfire"
04. Terminally, Your Aborted Ghost- "Inanimately Soundless"
05. Two Dead Sluts, One Good Fuck- "The Pinkest Demo"
06. Iron Cross- "Crucified for Our Sins"
07. Yaphet Kotto- "Syncopated Synthetic Laments for Love"
08. Xiu Xiu- "Fabulous Muscles"
09. Screeching Weasel- "Boogadaboogadaboogada"
10. Elliott- "If They Do"

Review Your Face Off: SOS- "Adult Situations"

First, I would like to apologize for the lack of the usual album cover photo. This album is not released as of yet, and all I had was a promo copy. In case you really want to know what that promo copy looked like, it was all black and had "SOS" and "Adult Situations" printed on it. I'm not sure what the font was. I apologize for that. I know there is one person out there who really wants to know. Let me just say they didn't use Comic Sans, which was a good choice.

Alright, Bellions, let's move onto the album. I have to say straight off that I was a bit surprised at what these NYC boys sounded like after taking a gander at the press release. With the references to hardcore and punk dropped into the text, I was expecting something with a decent amount of edge. This edge, however, is not present. This album seems to be more like a hair metal meets alternative rock hybrid. While there were some slight allusions to thrash and even horror punk, the overall feel is much tamer.

I guess in the big scheme of things I would have to say I wouldn't listen to this album merely for my enjoyment. I get where they are going with it, I guess. You can tell the band is trying to create music to mimic a rock n' roll lifestyle, but it just doesn't have enough power to really get you into much of a wild mood. While the musicians are all decent, it's just not my style of music. Plus, I think the lyrics need work. They are very standard, like most lyrics that are forced into rhyme schemes. I will be happy the day rock bands finally realize that rhyming is stupid, and one can say a lot more without trying to fit into the standards of pop music.

So there you have it. The album isn't terrible, but it's also not good. If you really like auto-wah, however, you'll find it used a lot on this record. Now THAT'S info you can use to make a decision!

Check these guys out and decide for yourself at the band's website or their Myspace

GnarVideo of the Week: The Acacia Strain - "Skynet"

ALL HAIL HUMOR IN AGGRESSIVE MUSIC... There, I said it... And it shouldn't be taken lightly... As you know, we here at the Belly are no strangers to mixing the funny with the brutality in such a way that after reading a couple posts, you faithful Bellions get treated to a delightful tingling feeling in your swimsuit area and the urge to continue on with your day suddenly able to ignore your complete contempt for the world around you which usually taunts you with the idea of taking the big dirtnap after a siesta with your head in the oven... It's cuz we're here for you! ... So naturally, we'd be drawn to like-minded individuals that see the power and splendidness in blending hilarity with the pummeling.

So in saying that, The Acacia Strain are these kinds of individuals... case in point, their new video for "Skynet" off of their latest record, Continent. Sidenote, not only does it bring the funny, TAS set out to accomplish a task that up until now was only left up to African American stand-up comedians... and what is that? ... well... damning the white population into the goofy nerdy unhip painfully-square stereotype that we are, of course. If I lost you with that last line, confused as to how a group of burly inked sledgehammer-hardcore merchants could accomplish such a feat, just click the play button and bask in the glory... YES WE CAN!

SKYNET

Get the Fuck Back Together, Idiots: For Science

For fuck's sake, seriously... I was just thinking about this the other day... Apparently there seems to be some sort of pandemic going around killing off all the true pure amazing pop-punk bands that were my best kept secrets. (And I seriously hope I don't need to instruct you bearfight readers about the definition of good pop-punk... Descendents/Ramones/Screeching Weasel/The Queers = correct and brilliant... everything that's made it onto the radio or TV parading itself as pop-punk = epic fail). So as I was saying, they seem to be dropping like flies at a fly dropping competition where flies are dropped nowadays... from the giant heartbreak of the disbanding of The Ergs! to the news I just received of The Steinways calling it quits, whom of which I only just super recently got my hands on some of their jazz. Regardless, after listening to For Science's Revenge for Hire for the umpteenth hundreth time yesterday, I decided they needed to be sodomized by one of our finger-wagging razorfuck columns.

First off, For Science ultimately needs to go down in history for having the most incredibly powerviolence reason for breaking up... coming straight from the horse's mouth: "This probably sounds too ridiculous to be true, but our singer and my friend John Slover had an acid freakout which led him to pack up his stuff and move to New Orleans on a complete whim without telling anyone, then continue on to Hawaii. I doubt we'll be able to play any kind of last show due to the circumstances, at least not anytime soon, and I know that kinda sucks." WTF. Beautiful. Package that shit up and sell it to me, cuz I'm buying two... However it seems this story has tweaked a tiny bit... the last show part, not the Timothy Leary part... since apparently a "farewell" show has been posted on their myspace, slated for Hoboken, New Jersey, and saying Slover will be in attendance, but from what I can gather, will not be singing.

Anywho, I don't feel like wasting my breath instructing you just why these guys were special to me... But it might have been that they somehow managed to write a barnburner buzzsaw pop-punk love letter to Kirsten Dunst clocking in at just under a minute long that I actually really liked... but it might have had a lot to do with the fact I thought Slover was saying "kissing dust" or "kissing a ghost" the whole time, until I looked up lyrics, confused as to what Spider-man had to do with dust and/or ghost kissing... Man, I feel like a toolbag. So regardless, pick up Revenge for Hire then get the other LP and their EP, cross those knobby little meat hooks, and hope acid freakouts have a tendency to wear off...

For Science - "Leeloo" (live @ the Insubordination Fest 2007)

Dispatches from Powerviolence: Review Considerations

The Spleen and I realized recently that we never gave a good way for people to send us albums for review purposes. So, if you want us to take a look at your shit and toss a review up here on the Belly, then send us an email at bellyfullofhell2@yahoo.com. We will give you all the info you need after that.

As a little disclaimer: We are not into kissing the asses of bands or labels. We will tell it like it is. If your album is great, then we'll let everyone know that they should check it out. If your album sucks, then we will let the world know that it should be avoided at all costs. If you album is mediocre, then the population will be warned. So hopefully your band kicks ass!

Heavy Rotation: Best of 2008

2008 had some pretty decent releases, and while I don't think there were as many killer albums dropped as in some of the years past, I'm not going to complain. Since we here at the Belly are so nice and always looking out for our bearfight readers, we've decided to give you a top ten list of the best records released last year. Obviously it becomes your duty to go and get these.

The Hellion (in no particular order):
01. Whitechapel - "This is Exile"
02. Hej Ninja - "Hej Ninja"
03. See You Next Tuesday - "Intervals"
04. Austin Lucas - "Putting the Hammer Down"
05. Mogwai - "The Hawk is Howling"
06. Drive-By Truckers - "Brighter than Creation's Dark"
07. Cursed - "III: The Architects of Troubled Sleep"
08. Hot Water Music - "Till the Wheels Fall Off"
09. Fuck Buttons - "Street Horrrsing"
10. Origin - "Antithesis"

*Spleen Editor's Note: I was having a real hard time discerning between the best records of the year and just the ones i dug the shit outta the most of the year... so regardless, here's a mix of my 14 (sorry! fuck you.) favorite albums of the year and best albums of the year. If you don't like it... Tough... You're probably a dicktard anyway.

Spleen Latifa (in no particular order):
01. Lords - "Fuck All Y'all Motherfuckers"
02. Young Widows - "Old Wounds"
03. Torche - "Meanderthal"
04. Trap Them - "Seizures in Barren Praise"
05. Off With Their Heads - "From the Bottom"
06. The Ergs! - "Hindsight Is 20/20, My Friend"
07. Cursed - "III: The Architects of Troubled Sleep"
08. The Banner - "Frailty"
09. Disfear - "Live The Storm"
10. See You Next Tuesday - "Intervals"

...Honorable Mention:
11. Ceremony - "Still Nothing Moves You"
12. Virgins - "Miscarriage"
13. Romans - "All Those Wrists"
14. Suicide Note - "Empty Rooms"

...Albums I really wished were gonna be the albums of the year, but I still dunno how I feel bout 'em:
01. Dillinger Four - "CIVILWAR"
02. The Bronx - "The Bronx (III)"