*Editor's Note: The following review was sent to me from a new writer who shall be worshiped under the name GnarHammer (now using Old Iron Blood). Hailing from Iceland, this sexy piece of man knows a thing or two about the metal that will have you thrashing into oblivion. Let's give him a warm welcome.*
Góðan daginn, one and all and welcome to my rant about the merits of Scandinavian metal as exemplified by Unleashed, the Lords of Viking Metal with their 2007 release: Midvinterblot. There will be NO arguing or whining about how "great" or "badass" American "metal" is in comparison because such things simply do NOT exist in the face of such UTTER sonic greatness that is Unleashed. It will be as if someone says to a meat eater that eating such fare is no better than eating fibrous vegetable slush. Complete lunacy! If you persist in your futile debate I will have no choice but to call upon Þór to smite you. No Valhalla for you, weakling!
There are few things in this Mortal world that bring happiness to a Norseman's heart besides bedding a fine wench, filling our bellies with ale in celebration of victorious triumphs over our weak enemies, breaking the skulls of said enemies, and doing so to the immortal slaying metal riffs of Unleashed. When the Valkyries themselves bang their long locks in reverence to such awe-some acoustic genocide then you know that you, pathetic weaklings as you are, should slit your wrists out of hopelessness for your so-called "metal" is nothing but the equivalent of sloppy feces. Your only hope is to give up all your ambition and pray, pray to Óðin that you may have a honorable death and not that of a peasant. All hail Óðin!!!
With such reverent lyrics as:
"Let's drink to Þór. The return of the Sun. And to our dead. Yes!
raise your horns. Hail Þór! Drink to remember our dead!
Midvinterblot!,"
the faithful legions of Pagans will start to stand and claim the pit. Watch yourselves, Christians, for we will take our revenge for your ravaging of our culture as described in SALVATION FOR MANKIND:
"YEAH, resurrect so I can vomit on the body of Christ!"
for ours is a culture that is proud and still strong as told in THE AVENGER:
"Upon this land his forefathers walked. The call from the past.
That warms his heart. Decades pass by, the changing of time.
Still there's a fire that burns inside. Óðin!...hear my call!
Óðin!...hear my call!!."
Metal and it's Lord of Lords, Death Metal, was born in the North and no imitation will stand. Eons have passed, but with such Metal Gods as Unleashed stoking the proud fires within with such war cries as:
"On the endless path of war
We may be torn or beat
but we have sworn to stand as one
In victory or defeat.
We are the immortals.
From hell we rise.
We are the immortals.
Death Metal-no compromise
Others follow the winds of change.
You came to swear allegiance.
No conformity at all.
We didn't come to reason",
we will rise in the face of our enemies and claim what's ours. All hail Óðin!!! All hail Þór!!! For Valhöll awaits! May we die in battle with our swords clenched!! All hail!!!
"The age of the commoner is over. The age of the warrior dawns!"
Here's a little video of Unleashed playing "Midvinterblot" live in Holland.
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