Friday, January 2, 2009

So Sick It Hurts: Lords - "Fuck All Y'all Motherfuckers"



This is going to be a bold statement... so seriously brace yourselves, kids... Kentucky's brashest of the brash, the mighty Lords, might have quite possibly bottled up and laid down a record that comes the closest to sonically delivering a glimpse at what it's like to be The Hellion and I. Meaning, if you were to take our personalities, our interests, our tastes, our tendencies, our views, our traits, our ticks, our demeanors, and our all-around fuckedupedness meets righteousness, toss it into a blender set to violently mix, then dump said contents onto a vinyl copy of any Motorhead, MC5, or Stooges record, smooth out the mess, cauterize it to the wax disc with a crème brûlée torch, then pop that fucker onto your turntable and turn it up to 11... Fuck all Y'all Motherfuckers is what you'd get.

It's all quite simple... this album fucking rips. It's been a little bit since an album so gritty and dirty has come along where I have a hard time figuring out if I should be pumping my fist and cussing out people I despise, or viciously bashing my teeth in with a metal pipe, or drinking hard and bangin raw, or simply just shaking my ass a little bit while i listen to it. Cuz seriously, track after track on this glorious beacon of hope makes feel like doing all of the above.

From the incredible teeth-gritting one-liners that pull through above the nihilistic chaos ("It all looks like shit / because it really is", "This is why I don't give a fuck", "Everything I see, I wanna kill", etc) to the the raw, biting, and reverb-heavy production, this album is a straight up kick to the teeth... Fully living up to the most wonderful description ever: "Lords, from Louisville Kentucky, are like Black Flag and Black Sabbath getting into a fist fight at stonehenge." ... I think I just peed a little.

Lords - "The Legend of Reginald" (live/instrumental, NYE '07/'08)

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